Fwd: War facts ~ NSU post #5

I thought this forward was pretty interesting...

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Elder Richard L LtCol 386 EAS
> Sent: Sunday, August 15, 2004 8:39 PM
> Subject: War facts
>
>
> There were 39 combat related killings
> in Iraq during the month of January.....
> In the fair city of Detroit there were
> 35 murders in the month of January.
>
>
> That's just one American city,
> about as deadly as the entire war torn country of
> Iraq.
>
>
> When some claim President Bush shouldn't
> have started this war, state the following ...
>
>
> FDR...
> led us into World War II.
> Germany never attacked us: Japan did.
> From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost,
> an average of 112,500 per year.
>
>
> Truman..
> finished that war and started one in Korea,
> North Korea never attacked us.
> From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost,
> an average of 18,334 per year.
>
>
> John F. Kennedy...
> started the Vietnam conflict in 1962.
> Vietnam never attacked us.
>
>
> Johnson...
> turned Vietnam into a quagmire.
> From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost,
> an average of 5,800 per year.
>
>
> Clinton...
> went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent,
> Bosnia never attacked us.
> He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter
> three times by Sudan and did nothing.
> Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.
>
>
> In the two years since terrorists attacked us
> President Bush has ...
> liberated two countries,
> crushed the Taliban,
> crippled al-Qaida,
> put nuclear inspectors in Libya,
> Iran and North Korea
> without firing a shot,
> and captured a terrorist who slaughtered
> 300,000 of his own people.
>
>
> The Democrats are complaining
> about how long the e war is taking, but...
> It took less time to take Iraq
> than it took Janet Reno to take the
> Branch Davidian compound.
> That was a 51 day operation.
>
>
> We've been looking for evidence of
> chemical weapons in Iraq for less
> time than it took Hillary Clinton to
> find the Rose Law Firm billing records.
>
>
> It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division
> and the Marines to destroy the Medina
> Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to
> call the police after his Oldsmobile
> sank at Chappaquiddick.
>
>
> It took less time to take Iraq than it took
> to count the votes in Florida!!!!
>
>
> Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
> The Military morale is high!
>
>
> The biased media hopes we are too ignorant to
> realize
> the facts.
>
> PASS THIS ON! THANKS!

Argh!!!

Well i have some news. I am now in Colorado and had a safe move. I've been enjoying not having a job but not enjoying not having any money. And i've started classes and enjoyed them for the most part (of course we haven't actually done anything yet).

But sometimes it seems like there's been one problem after another. I had trouble finding my ACT results (my mother had them it turns out) and when i took them in the power was out. My financial aid still hasn't come through because FAFSA neglected to update my application a month ago and the college just barely got my info today. I had to wait until Orientation to register (because of the aforementioned problems i had to attend the last one) so i didn't get the classes i wanted (though i will admit that i think i'm going to enjoy most of my classes). And the colleges website that supposedly allows me to save documents online so i can access them at other computers deleted my half finished essay that i wasn't enjoying writing in the first place. Of course i couldn't seem to write it but am having no trouble whatsoever writing here...

I have been so exhausted. I've been having trouble sleeping. My body wants to sleep til like nine but my subconscious doesn't even let me sleep right because i'm afraid i'll oversleep even though i don't have classes until 11 at the earliest (even later some days). It was the same in high school: one of my worst nightmares is showing up for class late and naked (topless at least) yet no one notices. Not a pleasant dream but (it once was) a recurring one; luckily i haven't had that one again (yet).

Another school day tomorrow. I can't believe how nervous i've been about starting school again. Nothing really bad (not like HGBC-North auditions), but it's there none the less. Let's see if i can get some sleep now... i need it.

The Village * * * * ~ NSU post # 4

"You see light when there is only darkness."
~ Edward Walker (William Hurt) to Ivy Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard)

Shyamalan delivers again in the Village with the great story and terrific acting that are typical of his films. Phoenix and Jones return to Shyamalan's cast and are joined by Hurt, Weaver, Brody, Gleeson, and newcomer Bryce Dallas Howard (daughter of Ron Howard who steals the show even though it's only her first film). I believe that many won't like this movie because 1) it isn't really that scary and 2) it's a bit slow, but i didn't find the story or it's pacing dull or boring. Shyamalan still wrote plenty of plot twists in for the characters--who you have to love--to experience and of course included his usual surprise ending. I figured it out before the end (maybe i'm just getting used to his movies?) but was still blown away by the beauty of the love story. No, this movie isn't as good as Signs but i kind of doubt that he'll ever be able to make a movie that is.  The acting is superb (i can't rave about them enough) and the setting perfect: i give the film 4 out of 5 stars. It's very clean though probably too scary for little ones... the PG-13 rating is appropriate. I highly recommend this movie.

Has it really been so long since i've posted here?

Well as you can see i have been updating the looks of all my blog*spots (save RePlay Alias: i'm rather partial to the way it looks already) and have also changed the time of my posts to be concurrent to Mountain Standard Time. The old designs for my blogs were looking a bit... well, old. And i'm moving back to Colorado to attend college so i thought i should prepare here as well as in RL. You see i was planning to attend CPCC here but they say that i don't have valid proof of being an In-State Resident. So i'm going to go to college in Colorado where my parents live and will automatically be considered an In-State Resident as i'm still their Dependent (according to the government; i actually haven't lived with them for almost two years) until i turn 23 this December.

So that's about all that's happening with me. Pretty boring huh? I'm looking forward to college... and seeing my family again. It's been a long time. Please pray for a safe trip for me as i'm leaving next Sunday and probably won't get home until Tuesday.

Symptom #2 = Taxed to Death ~ NSU post # 3

On Wednesday evening during our commute to mid-week services we were (as always) listening to talk radio.  A caller brought up one of this election's big issues:  taxes.  He said that he had figured out that if the 2.3 Trillion dollar budget was divided equally between each U.S. citizen that each individual would have to pay over $8000 a year in taxes.  As i am currently making about $10,000 a year i was floored by this.

Well guess what Kerry wants to do as soon as he gets into office (if he's elected that is):  raise taxes.  Another caller said that she and her husband both own small businesses and if Kerry gets his way they will have a combined income of $60,000 a year after taxes.  The rich already foot a lot of the bill because their taxes are so high (i, for example, don't pay taxes at all:  i get it all back) and of course Kerry wants to raise their taxes, too.

Why are we punishing the wealthy for living the American Dream?  All of us want to be rich, right?  At least, that's the general mentality of this nation.  We're capitalists and we look up to--even idolize--the rich, so what gives?  We want to punish the ones who have achieved everything we're working for?  Something doesn't add up here.

Kerry says "I will restore trust and credibility," yeah right!  I happen to trust the man who's currently office, thank you very much.  Sure, W isn't perfect, but i voted for him with my eyes wide open and i'm going to vote for him again.  Bush is of the stuff presidents should be made of and trusts God for his strength; i'm sure that's more than we can say of Kerry.

I Committed Murder ~ NSU post # 2

Today's Charlotte Observer contains the article 'I had an abortion' T-shirts cause Carolinas rift. Planned Parenthood has finally realized that they're offending people with their new t-shirts that proudly proclaim "I had an abortion." Wearing one of these shirts is just like saying "I Committed Murder" and it's about time someone complained. The fact that we allow abortion in our country at all--let alone are still arguing about whether or not partial birth abortion should be legal--is just another symptom that's indicating the death pains of the U.S.

Sympton #1 = State Advocated Murder

Psalm 139:13-16 says:
"You (God) made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

Abortion is murder, which is why Planned Parenthood hates the fact that those of us who aren't "Pro-Choice" call ourselves "Pro-Life." No matter how they try to defend themselves or deny the truth they know that saying one is Pro-Choice is merely the justification of the death of someone they consider to be an inconvenience. So many people are willing to adopt children because they cannot have any or because they want more but it's expensive and difficult to adopt. Meanwhile Planned Parenthood tries to control the world's population growth and proudly offers t-shirts like this on their website.

If life does not begin at conception when does it begin? When the heart starts beating? When the mother feels movement? If a woman miscarries? God says that our lives are laid out before us before we even live a day: i believe that means before we're even conceived (how many great lives have been cut short before they even truly began?) but what about Partial Birth Abortion? Our Representatives in Congress and Judicial System can't even agree on whether it's acceptable or not.

How low must we sink before we turn back to God?

in the beginning... ~ NSU post #1

People are always telling me to shut up. I always reply "i never shut up." So that's why i'm starting this new page... because there are a lot of things going on in today's world that i want to write and talk about from my faith to politics to entertainment. I feel the need to proclaim the truth and that's what i intend to do. America is on the verge of collapse if Christians don't stand up for what's right and take the steps that are necessary for a revival in the church and a great awakening in the streets.

No one has to read what i'm going to write if they don't want to, but i'm not going to shut up: the Founding Fathers created a country with freedom of speech and i'm going to exercise my right here. Hopefully i can sprinkle in some humor and display some God-like wisdom: but the truth is that i just want to have a place to talk even if no one will listen because i do have something to say. Feel free to comment and write me about whatever but remember: i never shut up.

God has a weird sense of humor. He does. It's so funky i'd almost call Him morbid.

I've just been thinking a lot lately about where i am in life. I'm so sad and overwhelmed and p.o.'d but i still trust Him. My life is seriously messed up but i keep on loving Him and keep on trying to serve Him and no one understands what i'm going through except the One i'm the most angry with: Him. Oh, people will sometimes try to understand (unless they're closed and think i'm not really going through anything at all) but no one really understands. They can't.

Who could understand how i feel honored and chastised by Him at the same time? How i'm perfectly content yet overwhelmingly sad all at once? I feel deeply: that's what i asked Him to give me. I asked Him not to give me patience and that's what He decided to teach me, too. And people tell me to "hang in there" and "it will be all right" and it isn't. I'm the persistant one, i'm the one who's been willingly and not-so-willingly waiting for five and a half years. No matter how hard things get i still turn to Him, but i've discovered that no matter how much i've already been through things can still get worse. And i know He's allowing these things to happen to me, but i also know that He is my only hope. So i wait.

Right now i have only a few cents to my name. I'm sitting in the library media center typing this out, listening to Avril Lavigne or whoever else pops up next on Launch, am wearing one of my three Quizno's shirts, my only pair of cargos, and my beat up sneakers. I probably reek of subs but i can't smell it anymore. I'm exhausted in so many different ways. Around my neck is a silver chain with two rings hanging from it. One is my "Lord of the Rings ring" and the other: my True Love Waits ring.

For a couple of weeks now i've been wearing my TLW ring around my neck and playing with it, kissing it, holding it. And here is how God has been so ironic: you see my TLW ring looks kinda like the One Ring. Every time i've attended a LotR event in costume i've worn it like this and people have always assumed that it was a replica of the One Ring. The ring originally stood for my virginity, my saving myself for my Imzadi (my future husband), but it's become so much more. Everything this ring stands for is part of me now and has become a burden, one that i willingly bear. It's come through every day with me, either on my left ring finger or around my neck, and it doesn't stand for merely my chastity anymore: it stands for my relationship with God.

I'm waiting for Him because i love Him. Most people don't understand that, they tell me "God helps those who helps themselves" and other well-meant fallacies and they totally miss what God's whispering to me right now, what i've been trying to share with everyone. Even though i can't see Him, He's still here. Even though i can't feel His hand in mine, He's still leading me. Even though i can't hear Him, He's still teaching me. And even though the one thing i want more than anything is to go (Here am i Lord, send me!) He's asking me to wait.

I know that i could never have loved Him if He hadn't loved me first, but i love him ever so desperately. I am furious with Him and hate Him and He's hurt me more than words can say but i still love Him so much that i just cannot help but keep coming back for more. Whatever He wants i'll do it. I'm so weak that i may not be able to, but i'll try my hardest and He'll do the rest. And though i am utterly perplexed and my heart is in a million pieces and i hardly recognize myself or my life anymore i know that He is in control.

People don't want to hear the truth. The truth hurts. But truth is my only freedom right now. Everything around me weighs me down but i'm free anyway, trying ever so hard to run, to fly. I am so annoyed by my life and the people who refuse to accept me as i am but somehow i cannot hate them anyway. I hate what they do to me, how they make me feel, the lies they tell me, the way they push me back down in the mud, but i'm trying to love them anyway. Sometimes it's too much and i lash out at them: it's so hard when all day every day people are trying to push me down. But i don't want to be down anymore. I want to be who God wants me to be and that's all that matters.

I didn't know God would bring me here. Somehow i knew deep down that i wasn't really happy but i didn't know how to get free. I kinda know now but He's still teaching me, still molding me. I hate some of the things i've been through, but i'd rather live this life than the lie i had. It's such a relief to be myself, to know exactly what i want, to be able to take comfort in the things that God has given me. He's shown me so much. There are so many things that He will use in our lives if only we will let Him. Most people try to fit Him in a box and control our own life by telling Him what we think we should have when in reality He is so much more awesome if we will let Him show us the storm.

I'd rather have this pain and be weird than be safe and ordinary. Sure, it's scary, but i know i'm perfectly safe in His arms. I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, or the swollen waves, or the pain: He's closer because of them. That's why i am who i am and do what i do, because i have abandoned all else for Him. He's all that matters.

Don't like what i have to say? Too bad. I never shut up.

quintessential quote... twisted

I didn't ask to be different. I didn't ask to be faster, stronger, or smarter than the average bear. I didn't choose to be a contrary. Being in the dark with enemies pressing in on me from every side is not my idea of having fun. The last thing i want is to be alone. I mean, people wanting me to change instead of being honest and telling the truth? No thanks. I don't want any of it. But i got it: so what's a girl gonna do?

For those of you (few as you are) who have been wondering where i've been and what i've been up to...

I was searching for a new job. No one called me back. I've decided to go to college instead. I'm currently taking my GED (so i can get financial aid) and it has be SOOOOOO easy. I got 100% correct on my pre-pre-tests and only 1 question wrong on each of my five pre-tests. I've taken three of the GED tests (Writing, Science, Social Studies) so far and will take Math today. Literature + Arts is scheduled for next Monday. I knew that i'd be able to ace these tests but i didn't know they'd be this easy, it's insane. I'm not sure what classes i want to take yet, though i do want to take classes this summer and go Work Study for a job. APFD wants me to take a phlebotomy class but i'm not certain what i want to do yet.

Last week i got a "new" car, an '89 Nissan Sentra. Dad graciously bought it for me and traded me my '85 Chrysler Laser for it (thank you Dad!). Unfortunately i was in an accident yesterday. I was merging onto I-277 from I-77 and look to my right (to see if it's safe for me to merge) when the vehicle in front of the vehicle in front of me stops (even though the lane is wide open for them to merge). When i look back (about 1-2 secs later, tops) i realize that the van in front of me has stopped and hit my brakes. BAM! My hood and headlights and radiator are pretty smashed but it should be fixable, the only question is how much it will cost. Anyways, no ticket, but i'm a bit sore, and understandably upset as i'd only been driving my car a week and was rather taken with it. ):

On the webpage front, no one posts at Christian Freaks so i'm going to delete the group as soon as i can get my photos onto my computer. Speaking of my computer, My Documents mysteriously disappeared, gone, poof! In other words i lost all the stories i was working on for my webpage and a lot of the designs i was intending to use in the future, etc., and am understandably upset. I don't know why i even try to have a webpage or blogs anymore, honestly i don't.

The NC Fellowship has had a couple of get togethers lately. I've only "attended" one (the Loch Norman Highland Games) and didn't actually see anyone at it. I had to leave early for a special orchestra practice so i probably shouldn't have gone anyway.

Orchestra assessments are coming up and i don't know which/can't find a piece to play. I wanted to play Shepherd's Hey (i loved playing it in high school) but can't find any sheet music for it.

None of my friends have been e-mailing me. The Romans Bible study finally started up again and i can't access the questions here because this computer doesn't have Microsoft Word. I missed yesterday's get-together because of the car accident.

Allergies have been bad, insomnia has developed since the Daylight Savings change (i can't fall asleep til at least midnight once again, let's hope it doesn't get worse), i've gained five pounds since i started going to the gym, and i don't think i'm going to be able to attend any of the upcoming events for my Sunday School class because of financial issues (meaning, my car).

Oh, i was going to try to get more memory and RAM for my computer but have discovered that the thing is obsolete and that i need to get a new one. I think i'm going to try to build my own, but who knows when i'll be able to scrape together enough money for that. I guess that's about it.

Hey look! I'm standing on my head! d:

I hate waiting. I'm a very passionate and very impatient person by nature. I don't want to have to work too long at something, i want instant results. That's why, though i am a hard worker, i finish everything as fast as possible and then sit back until it's time for my next task. But my life the past few years has been one monstrous task that is taking forever. It requires me to wait: that's what i get for telling God that i don't want patience! (;

So that's part of the reason why things have been so hard for me. God's trying to develop my patience and my faith and it's hard work! It may be the hardest thing He ever asks me to do. I'm tired, i'm frustrated, i'm broken, i've been humbled. I hope that i am moldable in the Master's hand. God's not through with me yet (at least, i hope He isn't!!! (8 ). I just wish he would hurry up... (;

Okay, apparently Aunt Polly feels that all i do here is whine. What's up with that? Why is it that everyone always seems to think that my feelings aren't valid?

Anyways, the past few weeks have been really hard for me. I haven't been able to find a job and am hating my current one more than ever. I seriously do not know how i got through last week. I was very upset with God because my praying seemed to be getting me nowhere. I am so tired of my life being hard.

And then yesterday i realized that i was whining to God (though not here). I know life isn't supposed to be easy but it sure would be nice if it were easier at least for a little while! The great thing is that God understands how i feel and actually enjoys talking with me (even when i'm screaming at Him (: ). He's blessed me with a reconnection with an old friend (Little One and i have been conversing every day! It's so nice having an honest conversation with someone who will actually encourage me and be understanding instead of critical) but my car has been unreliable as ever (though Mom and Dad say they'll pay for my car's repairs). I don't know if i'll get to go to the Rennaissance Faire in Raleigh this weekend with the NCFellowship as i want to ): but i am trying to buckle under (take it like a woman!!!) and work through things.

I have no idea how to keep going on like this but i also don't know what God wants me to do so i'm very uneasy about all of this. I just want to Run Away!!! but maybe He wants me to use the Holy Hand Grenade or something. Anyways, it's all very confusing cuz i've been trying to do the right stuff and nothin's workin'. Still, i've decided that i at least need to be trying to do His will even if i do feel like i'm way past the end of my rope!

Have to go, but i will keep you (is anyone there?) posted... Er, blogged.

See, this is what i'm talking about! Go Suzy!

I am SO upset that George Huff and Leah LaBelle made it to the final twelve over Suzy Vulaca on American Idol. She is the only one that i really really wanted to win. Why did i even let myself get involved in this show? It's just another burn from Fox!

As it is, i'm not really rooting for any of the final twelve, but i am glad that Jon Peter Lewis got to go on.

Suzy Vulaca Fan Web Site

So... i've been a bit silent of late, haven't i? I've mostly just been trying to get through each day. I'm enjoying going to the gym two (to three) times a week but feel like we're always running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We're so busy: too busy for my liking.

In church news, the entire Hickory Grove Baptist Church (and most of the Southern Baptist Convention) is doing 40 Days of Purpose. I recommend the book: though at first i was a bit disappointed it's grown to be more thought-provoking. The Monday night Bible study is on hiatus until after we (my Sunday school class) finish the book but we're still meeting on Mondays as usual to discuss the Purpose Driven Life study. I missed last Monday because my car suddenly won't start again, though this time there's something else wrong with it than last time. This Saturday my aunt and i begin attending a new study on relationships taught by the Alexanders.

In world news, Madrid was victim to terrorist attack yesterday. No one is sure who did it yet (of course) but the fact that it was the two and a half year anniversary of 9/11 was a bit of an eye opener to me. It makes me even more annoyed with my current situation as i feel i'm muzzled and shackled to a life that i don't really want to be leading. I mean, where's the future God promised me? It's very hard to wait.

I've been really mad with God the past couple of days. But i felt guilty last night when i got home and found a check in the mail that was returning most of my quarter of the deposit from the apartment Megan, Andrew, Sarah, and i shared: $70.50. Makes me feel rich. I'm very glad that i've already paid Megan and Andrew back all the money i owed them cuz i'm opening a savings account.

I'm looking for a new job but so far all the doors are very, very closed. I've been praying about this a lot, do not know how to stay at this job any longer (it's an effort to get through each day) but somehow i do it. It's not me but i don't feel God either. It's very draining and stressful and depressing. It's hard to stay hopeful. I don't know what's going to happen to me.

stuck in my head

Was listening to Michelle Branch's Hotel Paper last night. I like her lyrics, have felt like this many times:

please don't drive me home tonight ~ cuz i don't wanna feel alone ~ please don't drive me home tonight ~ cuz i don't wanna go
- from Tuesday Morning

Man, i sound like such damaged baggage. I'm in a weird mood. And am hungry. Today is payday but at the moment i'm a bit short on cash. Plus i've already had two (small) apples, a key lime lite yogurt, and a donut. I'm still hungry. Ugh.

I am all alone. Alone!!!!

LOL It just has been very silent this week. I haven't been receiving any e-mails (well, i got one from my mother). I haven't known what to post at Christian Freaks. A fellow Sunday school classmate who i usually talk to more than anyone is now secretly dating someone. All of a sudden i feel utterly alone. Yet not lonely. Not really, anyway: loneliness is a perpetual thing for me so i hardly notice it anymore, though i still long to get married, to meet my Imzadi. Anyways, that's about all that's up with me.

life verse

So you should consider yourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Christ Jesus. Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to its lustful desires. Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God.
~ Romans 6:11-13 (NLT)

stuck in my head

let's go back ~ back to the beginning ~ back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned ~ cuz perfect ~ didn't feel so perfect ~ trying to fit a square into a circle was no life ~ i defy

let the rain fall down and wake my dreams ~ let it wash away my sanity ~ cuz i wanna feel the thunder ~ i wanna scream ~ let the rain fall down i'm coming clean ~ i'm coming clean

i'm shedding ~ shedding every color ~ trying to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin ~ cuz different ~ doesn't feel so different ~ and going out is better then always staying in ~ feel the wind

let the rain fall down and wake my dreams ~ let it wash away my sanity ~ cuz i wanna feel the thunder ~ i wanna scream ~ let the rain fall down i'm coming clean ~ i'm coming clean

i'm coming clean ~ let the rain fall ~ let the rain fall ~ i'm coming

let the rain fall down and wake my dreams ~ let it wash away my sanity ~ cuz i wanna feel the thunder ~ i wanna scream ~ let the rain fall down i'm coming clean ~ i'm coming clean

let's go back ~ back to the beginning
~ Hilary Duff "Come Clean"