I did 30 minor-ups at work on Monday. I feel like i am swaying from
side to side way too much. There isn’t really enough room at my
workstation, but i had hoped to do some while were were slow. After 30 i
was starting to feel the burn.
I wasn’t sore on Tuesday, but i was ill, so i didn't get artound to truing them again.
On
Wednesday i never had a chance to do more that 6-7 before i was
interrupted. I did about 15-20 all together, trying to sway less, but i
didn’t really feel like i was getting anywhere. I’m not sure that this
is helping my running form at all. /: I may rethink this goal, going
to look at my barefoot running book for some pointers.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Seventeen and body image
Around the time i was hitting puberty i remember thinking that Seventeen magazine was trash. My mom and things i was reading (Brio, probably) told me that Seventeen was about dressing inappropriately, dating inappropriately, and unhealthy body image. I've been wondering for over half my life if Seventeen, Cosmo, and every other beauty/fashion magazine out there is responsible for women having low self esteem, low body image, and the trend towards dressing inappropriately. I've been wondering the past few years if magazines such as Prevention, Shape, Self, and Triathlete contribute towards those same issues.
Then a little over a week ago i turned on the radio. It was a Sunday, which meant that my usual talk/news programs had been replaced by a sermon. I have no idea who the minster was, and truth be told i only listened to him for a minute or two, but he did made me think. He was teaching from Genesis, about original sin, and suddenly the issue was clarified for me. Before anyone had eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, no one cared about what their body looked like:
But this changed after only a couple of verses:
So the first time anyone realized that their body needed to be hidden was after they had sinned and as a result of their sin. Small children don't think twice about showing their nakedness, and some might argue that adults shouldn't worry about it either. How much of our understanding and beliefs about modesty are constructed by society, rather than by the Bible? I mean, where in the Bible does it say "Thou shalt not go without a bra"? It's something i'd like to do some research about, what the Bible actually says on the subject, through which "author" (Moses, Paul, etc.), and what Jesus himself said.
But what all of these magazines are based off of is the societal and psychological belief that thin=sexy. I happen to disagree. Whenever i see supposed Before & After photos i usually think that the Before looks better or the After is too extreme. Peter Jackson looks weird thin, sickly and less happy. Can anyone imagine Queen Latifah thin?!? Does anyone think that the crew of Star Trek TNG looked better in the first season than in the seventh?
The point is balance, certainly. Our current collective ideal image is skewed towards an unhealthy and (to some) unobtainable model. Some might point at magazines, the entertainment industry, the fashion industry, Barbie, the list could go on, but it all stems from fears that were triggered in the Garden of Eden. These are beliefs that we aren't born with, but we do develop them as influenced by our upbringing from a relatively young age. These beliefs start out being factual and external but gradually become personal and felt deeply. I started feeling physically insufficient in second and third grade when social pressures and peers started telling me that i was fat. I wasn't fat, not by a long shot, but my residual self-image, influenced by external biases, screamed at me that i was.
I have basically been wanting or trying to lose weight ever since. That's twenty years of beating myself up because my body didn't fit a very narrow "ideal." About half of my life i have been struggling with that ideal, between wanting to fit into it and knowing that i personally don't even agree with that ideal. I don't want to be thin. I want to be athletic, certainly, but i fully believe that a woman is mean to have curves and needs to have curves for her body to be healthy. For a long time i have felt like an athletic person trapped inside a fat person's body, but i have suddenly become aware that my old residual self-image has changed.
I'm not sure when it happened, but now i just feel like a fat person who is not ashamed of being a fat person. I would like to lose some weight, but i never, ever want to be thin. Being plus-sized is who i am, is effectually part of who i was before i even became plus-sized. I'm not saying that i set out to gain weight (in fact, my goals were the complete opposite), but i no longer see my weight as something negative. I would rather be happy and enjoy my life and be plus sized than beat myself up and go to unhealthy lengths to become thin.
Do you see where my brain took that? I think of becoming or being thin as unhealthy. Dieting, overexercise, fasting, purging (from either end of one's body), it is all extremes that i am unwilling to go to. The times when i lost the most weight were times when i was eating whatever i wanted (anything in sight, really, because i was constantly hungry) but i was exercising my butt off (literally). I love to exercise, but i know that there are unhealthy extremes that should be avoided.
Body image has become tied up with an us vs. them mentality, this idea that one must be thin to be desirable. When i look at super thin girls in skinny jeans i feel nauseous. Some people come by that figure naturally. I wonder if they are sickened by my appearance. I wonder if they think they are fat when in reality they are anything but underweight. What average is seems less clear than what the extremes are. Is it my weight that sets me outside socially, or is it something else?
So i can't imagine being thin. I can't even imagine being thinner, really. The only reason it really matters to me is that i want to be a better triathlete. I do have some competitive nature even if my main goals are to have fun and be healthy. With my current job, any time i work a nine hour shift i cannot imagine going somewhere to work out. I would love to have that energy, but the pain in my body wins out. I recently realized that if i really meant to compete in this year's Highline Hustle then i should have started training in March (if not earlier), that April was too late. And lately i've even considered going to the Dark Side.
Someone told me about Peak 8. Simply put it's interval training to an extreme, no endurance expected, trying to get the most benefit out of the shortest amount of effort. I'm not saying that it doesn't take effort, i'm saying it's not paced, it's not what i need to complete a triathlon. Well, it might help me lose weight, but it won't prepare me for exercising for long periods of time.
And then i read about eating a raw diet. Personally, i have always liked my meat rare (except fish, actually, which i prefer to be a little more well done, but of course not burnt). I enjoy eating a lot of vegetables and fruits, i just don't feel like i have the time/energy/money to prepare them. When i was triathlon training before i was spending a lot of money on salmon, organic food, etc. I was eating way more raw compared to my diet now, but i'm not sure if the difference in how i felt then can be attributed solely to diet. I do think that i need to stop drinking sodas, but that is more of a concern about sugar than caffeine. I think i need to cut a lot of sugar and salt out of my diet and stop eating fast food (or out at all, really). I am prepared to start eating more organic fruits and vegetables but i am not prepared to cut all meat out of my diet.
My goal...i don't care about losing a hundred pounds anymore. I want to eat healthier. I want to exercise more. I want to complete another Sprint and start working towards an Olympic. I think that i need to start exercising despite the pain and fatigue or i'm never going to ever start and my weight will get worse. I still don't want to ever break 300 pounds. So i guess to start out that i'm going to start working on my barefoot running technique, repair my bike (it currently has a flat and could possibly use a tune up), and look into swimming again.
Then a little over a week ago i turned on the radio. It was a Sunday, which meant that my usual talk/news programs had been replaced by a sermon. I have no idea who the minster was, and truth be told i only listened to him for a minute or two, but he did made me think. He was teaching from Genesis, about original sin, and suddenly the issue was clarified for me. Before anyone had eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, no one cared about what their body looked like:
Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25 (NLT)
But this changed after only a couple of verses:
The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. Genesis 3:6-7 (NLT)
So the first time anyone realized that their body needed to be hidden was after they had sinned and as a result of their sin. Small children don't think twice about showing their nakedness, and some might argue that adults shouldn't worry about it either. How much of our understanding and beliefs about modesty are constructed by society, rather than by the Bible? I mean, where in the Bible does it say "Thou shalt not go without a bra"? It's something i'd like to do some research about, what the Bible actually says on the subject, through which "author" (Moses, Paul, etc.), and what Jesus himself said.
But what all of these magazines are based off of is the societal and psychological belief that thin=sexy. I happen to disagree. Whenever i see supposed Before & After photos i usually think that the Before looks better or the After is too extreme. Peter Jackson looks weird thin, sickly and less happy. Can anyone imagine Queen Latifah thin?!? Does anyone think that the crew of Star Trek TNG looked better in the first season than in the seventh?
The point is balance, certainly. Our current collective ideal image is skewed towards an unhealthy and (to some) unobtainable model. Some might point at magazines, the entertainment industry, the fashion industry, Barbie, the list could go on, but it all stems from fears that were triggered in the Garden of Eden. These are beliefs that we aren't born with, but we do develop them as influenced by our upbringing from a relatively young age. These beliefs start out being factual and external but gradually become personal and felt deeply. I started feeling physically insufficient in second and third grade when social pressures and peers started telling me that i was fat. I wasn't fat, not by a long shot, but my residual self-image, influenced by external biases, screamed at me that i was.
I have basically been wanting or trying to lose weight ever since. That's twenty years of beating myself up because my body didn't fit a very narrow "ideal." About half of my life i have been struggling with that ideal, between wanting to fit into it and knowing that i personally don't even agree with that ideal. I don't want to be thin. I want to be athletic, certainly, but i fully believe that a woman is mean to have curves and needs to have curves for her body to be healthy. For a long time i have felt like an athletic person trapped inside a fat person's body, but i have suddenly become aware that my old residual self-image has changed.
I'm not sure when it happened, but now i just feel like a fat person who is not ashamed of being a fat person. I would like to lose some weight, but i never, ever want to be thin. Being plus-sized is who i am, is effectually part of who i was before i even became plus-sized. I'm not saying that i set out to gain weight (in fact, my goals were the complete opposite), but i no longer see my weight as something negative. I would rather be happy and enjoy my life and be plus sized than beat myself up and go to unhealthy lengths to become thin.
Do you see where my brain took that? I think of becoming or being thin as unhealthy. Dieting, overexercise, fasting, purging (from either end of one's body), it is all extremes that i am unwilling to go to. The times when i lost the most weight were times when i was eating whatever i wanted (anything in sight, really, because i was constantly hungry) but i was exercising my butt off (literally). I love to exercise, but i know that there are unhealthy extremes that should be avoided.
Body image has become tied up with an us vs. them mentality, this idea that one must be thin to be desirable. When i look at super thin girls in skinny jeans i feel nauseous. Some people come by that figure naturally. I wonder if they are sickened by my appearance. I wonder if they think they are fat when in reality they are anything but underweight. What average is seems less clear than what the extremes are. Is it my weight that sets me outside socially, or is it something else?
So i can't imagine being thin. I can't even imagine being thinner, really. The only reason it really matters to me is that i want to be a better triathlete. I do have some competitive nature even if my main goals are to have fun and be healthy. With my current job, any time i work a nine hour shift i cannot imagine going somewhere to work out. I would love to have that energy, but the pain in my body wins out. I recently realized that if i really meant to compete in this year's Highline Hustle then i should have started training in March (if not earlier), that April was too late. And lately i've even considered going to the Dark Side.
Someone told me about Peak 8. Simply put it's interval training to an extreme, no endurance expected, trying to get the most benefit out of the shortest amount of effort. I'm not saying that it doesn't take effort, i'm saying it's not paced, it's not what i need to complete a triathlon. Well, it might help me lose weight, but it won't prepare me for exercising for long periods of time.
And then i read about eating a raw diet. Personally, i have always liked my meat rare (except fish, actually, which i prefer to be a little more well done, but of course not burnt). I enjoy eating a lot of vegetables and fruits, i just don't feel like i have the time/energy/money to prepare them. When i was triathlon training before i was spending a lot of money on salmon, organic food, etc. I was eating way more raw compared to my diet now, but i'm not sure if the difference in how i felt then can be attributed solely to diet. I do think that i need to stop drinking sodas, but that is more of a concern about sugar than caffeine. I think i need to cut a lot of sugar and salt out of my diet and stop eating fast food (or out at all, really). I am prepared to start eating more organic fruits and vegetables but i am not prepared to cut all meat out of my diet.
My goal...i don't care about losing a hundred pounds anymore. I want to eat healthier. I want to exercise more. I want to complete another Sprint and start working towards an Olympic. I think that i need to start exercising despite the pain and fatigue or i'm never going to ever start and my weight will get worse. I still don't want to ever break 300 pounds. So i guess to start out that i'm going to start working on my barefoot running technique, repair my bike (it currently has a flat and could possibly use a tune up), and look into swimming again.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
first run in vibrams
Yesterday was track practice for four of my six siblings and the family went along to watch and get a little exercise in. It was kinda windy. I strapped on my Sprints and went for my first run in them. I ran about 0.3 miles and walked about 0.9. I didn't have any pain while running (though it did feel a little different) , just some slight fatigue. Later last night, my family went swimming. Both of my calves took turns cramping but not severely. Today my legs were stiff and slightly sore from hip to toe. I think it was a good difficulty level as far as workouts go. I just hope that I'm recovered before my next shift on Monday.
Monday, January 23, 2012
sorry for the delay
I have been very busy with work but some progress has been made, however slight.
I purchased my first pair of Vibrams (in Slate/Palm). Well, first i purchased the wrong size because i couldn't actually try them on (the style i wanted is not available at the local REI) and followed the chart rather than my gut, but after another order and return i'm now wearing the right size. I'm a little annoyed about the poky side of the velcro strap being at the base facing out rather than at the end of the strap and in. I've broken them in and they feel lovely until i've stood in them for four hours straight. I'm not sure i'll ever be able to wear them for a full shift at work while standing on a pad on tile over concrete for 8-9 hours. I'm also annoyed that the velcro is starting to fray, but i suppose all things wear out. I've been trimming stray threads.
I bought Barefoot Running Step by Step with the B&N gift card i got from my Secret Santa. This book isn't available at our local library and i must admit that i've barely read it. Saxton doesn't seem to like Vibrams because they cut off too much sensation. From personal experience i can confirm that i was surprised how thick Vibrams feel. I feel more than with normal shoes but less than i would like. That is, unless i'm walking on gravel, and i'm still getting used to that. What bothers me about his claim is that calloused feet cut off sensation, too, in my experience. The more one walks/runs barefoot the thicker the skin on the bottom of one's feet gets. Is he going to start blasting barefooting next?
I really, really want to start training for my next triathlon but i'm not sure where to find the time or energy. My feet and legs have been killing me at work again. I finally got to a point where my calves aren't cramping every morning as soon as i try to get out of hammock again but on Friday i felt like i had low bloodsugar right before lunch despite the fact that i had eaten breakfast and a snack that day. I've only felt like that when i was sitting most of the day in the past...say at the end of a class and then walking on the way to get food right NOW rather than after standing on my feet for 3.75 hours (less a fifteen minute break) and with another fifteen minutes to go before i can rest and eat.
Every day at work i feel like i've run 10k, which is to say twice as far as i've ever run before. You wouldn't think that standing in one spot for most of the day would feel like a full body workout, but believe me it does. And per usual the scale doesn't seem to take note. I think that i need to have a better diet but i'm not sure i can afford one or have the time. Things are further exacerbated by the fact that i have no reliable transportation and work is too far away for me to bike to. The majority of the time that i have been at this job i have been dropped off at the beginning of the shift, picked up at the end of it, straight to, straight from except for picking up siblings from basketball practice or attending one of their games. If i'm lucky i get to go grocery shopping once every two weeks and i grab frozen dinners and a few other things. I don't think i have a high enough caloric intake...but once again, i'm still not losing any weight.
Time and energy both seem to be valuable commodities that i have far too little of. I can't even comprehend how i was training two years ago while working and attending college full time. It seems impossible. And here i am wanting to get into backpacking/hammock camping in a really bad way. I'm thinking of starting locally and trying to find some amazing places to take photos to start out. But financial issues are a big concern. I don't know that i will have my conventional job in February (we're in the midst of Inventory and i am seasonal help). There are no jobs to be had via the paper or Craigslist. I might have to make a go of it on Etsy or DeviantArt. I might suddenly have a lot of time for writing and training but not be able to pay my bills. Time will tell...
I was looking for an online support group or local training group today and was surprised to find next to nothing. I found one blog where a woman has lost 40-50 pounds and is whining about not being able to lose the last 15 to get below the Athena threshold. I can't even imagine getting my weight below 200 pounds anymore. I still wonder what it would be like to race for charity and then realize that no one probably would want to support me at my weight.
I purchased my first pair of Vibrams (in Slate/Palm). Well, first i purchased the wrong size because i couldn't actually try them on (the style i wanted is not available at the local REI) and followed the chart rather than my gut, but after another order and return i'm now wearing the right size. I'm a little annoyed about the poky side of the velcro strap being at the base facing out rather than at the end of the strap and in. I've broken them in and they feel lovely until i've stood in them for four hours straight. I'm not sure i'll ever be able to wear them for a full shift at work while standing on a pad on tile over concrete for 8-9 hours. I'm also annoyed that the velcro is starting to fray, but i suppose all things wear out. I've been trimming stray threads.
I bought Barefoot Running Step by Step with the B&N gift card i got from my Secret Santa. This book isn't available at our local library and i must admit that i've barely read it. Saxton doesn't seem to like Vibrams because they cut off too much sensation. From personal experience i can confirm that i was surprised how thick Vibrams feel. I feel more than with normal shoes but less than i would like. That is, unless i'm walking on gravel, and i'm still getting used to that. What bothers me about his claim is that calloused feet cut off sensation, too, in my experience. The more one walks/runs barefoot the thicker the skin on the bottom of one's feet gets. Is he going to start blasting barefooting next?
I really, really want to start training for my next triathlon but i'm not sure where to find the time or energy. My feet and legs have been killing me at work again. I finally got to a point where my calves aren't cramping every morning as soon as i try to get out of hammock again but on Friday i felt like i had low bloodsugar right before lunch despite the fact that i had eaten breakfast and a snack that day. I've only felt like that when i was sitting most of the day in the past...say at the end of a class and then walking on the way to get food right NOW rather than after standing on my feet for 3.75 hours (less a fifteen minute break) and with another fifteen minutes to go before i can rest and eat.
Every day at work i feel like i've run 10k, which is to say twice as far as i've ever run before. You wouldn't think that standing in one spot for most of the day would feel like a full body workout, but believe me it does. And per usual the scale doesn't seem to take note. I think that i need to have a better diet but i'm not sure i can afford one or have the time. Things are further exacerbated by the fact that i have no reliable transportation and work is too far away for me to bike to. The majority of the time that i have been at this job i have been dropped off at the beginning of the shift, picked up at the end of it, straight to, straight from except for picking up siblings from basketball practice or attending one of their games. If i'm lucky i get to go grocery shopping once every two weeks and i grab frozen dinners and a few other things. I don't think i have a high enough caloric intake...but once again, i'm still not losing any weight.
Time and energy both seem to be valuable commodities that i have far too little of. I can't even comprehend how i was training two years ago while working and attending college full time. It seems impossible. And here i am wanting to get into backpacking/hammock camping in a really bad way. I'm thinking of starting locally and trying to find some amazing places to take photos to start out. But financial issues are a big concern. I don't know that i will have my conventional job in February (we're in the midst of Inventory and i am seasonal help). There are no jobs to be had via the paper or Craigslist. I might have to make a go of it on Etsy or DeviantArt. I might suddenly have a lot of time for writing and training but not be able to pay my bills. Time will tell...
I was looking for an online support group or local training group today and was surprised to find next to nothing. I found one blog where a woman has lost 40-50 pounds and is whining about not being able to lose the last 15 to get below the Athena threshold. I can't even imagine getting my weight below 200 pounds anymore. I still wonder what it would be like to race for charity and then realize that no one probably would want to support me at my weight.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
seriously?
Sometimes i feel as if people are trying too hard to sell me on something i want to believe in and as a result they end up turning me off rather than convincing me. This was definitely the case while browsing the MadeToRun website/blog.
On the other hand, i'm not sure humor is the way to go. There were two videos that i saw today that amused me very much but didn't help answer questions, either. For instance this Anti-Shoe Infomercial:
which makes fun of itself so much that it compromises the point that it's trying to make (if they are pro-barefoot) and The Barefoot Runner (warning: NSFW from :25-:30):
in which very little running actually occurs.
I don't want to hear/read studies or common sense be referenced. I want people to relate their personal experiences. I want to know what others feel and have felt so i can guess what i would feel if i were in their shoes. That is why Leah's KomodoSport review and Justin's ...Power of Bare Feet have sold me more than anything else i've read in the past few hours. They are real, they ring true, they give voice to things i've known and felt (if only in my gut) but couldn't manage to put into words myself.
The rest...well i'm still hating the fact that i'm working somewhere that mostly carries merchandise made in China and remembering what someone said today in Sunday school. Americans today feel entitled to things that they shouldn't, that have no worth when we don't have to struggle to obtain them. I know that fits into my life somehow.
On the other hand, i'm not sure humor is the way to go. There were two videos that i saw today that amused me very much but didn't help answer questions, either. For instance this Anti-Shoe Infomercial:
I don't want to hear/read studies or common sense be referenced. I want people to relate their personal experiences. I want to know what others feel and have felt so i can guess what i would feel if i were in their shoes. That is why Leah's KomodoSport review and Justin's ...Power of Bare Feet have sold me more than anything else i've read in the past few hours. They are real, they ring true, they give voice to things i've known and felt (if only in my gut) but couldn't manage to put into words myself.
The rest...well i'm still hating the fact that i'm working somewhere that mostly carries merchandise made in China and remembering what someone said today in Sunday school. Americans today feel entitled to things that they shouldn't, that have no worth when we don't have to struggle to obtain them. I know that fits into my life somehow.
43 things and 100-up
I've been working as a cashier again as seasonal help. When i did this before i was in better shape and am pretty sure that i had shorter shifts. I know i did after it became part-time and no longer seasonal because i was still in school. This is even how i funded the training for my first triathlon. But now...i have gained weight and am working nine hour shifts. It was brutal for the first 4-6 weeks i'd say. I think that i have lost a little bit of weight and now i usually only get really sore on Saturdays...after working 2-3 of these shifts in a row.
I really want to start training again. I have been wearing my latest pair of running shoes while at work and have been considering alternative methods of shodding my feet once i start working out again. In fact, i started thinking about it just as soon as i had bought these shoes. Oh the irony, but now these shoes do have a use and i have a little cash influx i'm wondering if i should splurge on some Vibrams or just wait a while and see what the new year brings to the shoe market. I tried some on at REI and did like them a lot, but of course i haven't run in them and they only had black in my sizes. I don't want black shoes because that would be horrible in the summer. I do live in the desert after all. Now i'm being crazy and even wondering if i should be wearing shoes like Vibrams 24/7...at work and casually, if not at church. I am so over high heels and quickly discovered that taking my shoes off for a while does help when your feet are screaming at you.
So my resolution for the new year...is to start training again and to actually write about it. I am also seriously considering making a transition into barefoot running. To that end i think i'll probably at least try the 100-Up challenge (for some reason, 43 Things won't let me add this as a goal, but it's still one that i'm making) as detailed in an article written by Christopher McDougall (author of Born to Run). I think that the biggest challenge to my training right now is simply finding time to do it. Forget money, or even a place to swim (which i figure i can largely ignore for the time being as it is my strongest event), i am working five days a week and have no source of independent transportation. I feel like i have even less free time now than i did when i was still in school. Besides my cashiering 30-35 hours a week i am teaching knitting classes one day a week. I hardly have time to game, and usually only make it to the grocery store to buy lunches about once every two weeks. Most of all, i don't know if i should hope to be unemployed (save the teaching position) come January or try to keep this job. I don't know what i should be doing. Hopefully i have it figured out soon.
I really want to start training again. I have been wearing my latest pair of running shoes while at work and have been considering alternative methods of shodding my feet once i start working out again. In fact, i started thinking about it just as soon as i had bought these shoes. Oh the irony, but now these shoes do have a use and i have a little cash influx i'm wondering if i should splurge on some Vibrams or just wait a while and see what the new year brings to the shoe market. I tried some on at REI and did like them a lot, but of course i haven't run in them and they only had black in my sizes. I don't want black shoes because that would be horrible in the summer. I do live in the desert after all. Now i'm being crazy and even wondering if i should be wearing shoes like Vibrams 24/7...at work and casually, if not at church. I am so over high heels and quickly discovered that taking my shoes off for a while does help when your feet are screaming at you.
So my resolution for the new year...is to start training again and to actually write about it. I am also seriously considering making a transition into barefoot running. To that end i think i'll probably at least try the 100-Up challenge (for some reason, 43 Things won't let me add this as a goal, but it's still one that i'm making) as detailed in an article written by Christopher McDougall (author of Born to Run). I think that the biggest challenge to my training right now is simply finding time to do it. Forget money, or even a place to swim (which i figure i can largely ignore for the time being as it is my strongest event), i am working five days a week and have no source of independent transportation. I feel like i have even less free time now than i did when i was still in school. Besides my cashiering 30-35 hours a week i am teaching knitting classes one day a week. I hardly have time to game, and usually only make it to the grocery store to buy lunches about once every two weeks. Most of all, i don't know if i should hope to be unemployed (save the teaching position) come January or try to keep this job. I don't know what i should be doing. Hopefully i have it figured out soon.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
not as limited (or dirty) as we thought
Did anyone else know that oil is not technically a finite resource? It's composed of algae and formed underground after "millions" of years. This is something i've been wondering about for a while, since discovering that coal has been forming in the area of Spirit Lake since the Mount St. Helens eruption (upon some further digging, this seems to be controversial and perhaps not as certain).
So apparently Solazyme has been testing this fuel for a couple of years now, on its own and with the US Navy, and now Japanese companies are starting to pursue the same technologies. But interestingly, oil in nature is fossilized algae, but this oil seems to be made by the algae...they feed the algae and it converts plant matter into oil that has less contaminants than what is pumped out of the ground. That's pretty amazing.
So apparently Solazyme has been testing this fuel for a couple of years now, on its own and with the US Navy, and now Japanese companies are starting to pursue the same technologies. But interestingly, oil in nature is fossilized algae, but this oil seems to be made by the algae...they feed the algae and it converts plant matter into oil that has less contaminants than what is pumped out of the ground. That's pretty amazing.
Saturday, July 09, 2011
Athena
As readers may have noticed, i changed my blog's title for the first time in a year and a half. I used to change the title of this blog more often. As i recall, it started out as Dark Fire...which was quite a while ago.
The purpose of this blog changed quite a bit the last time i changed the title. I had been blogging about personal things mostly, and sometimes political, but after the change it mostly became an exercise log with personal stuff thrown in. These days i keep a lot of my personal rants under lockdown at my LiveJournal and only allow friends to read about them. My super personal messages i am gradually posting over there and deleting over here in an attempt to recover privacy. Not that any of you probably read any of those posts anyway! I was really openly depressed most often when i first started this blog.
I am actually surprised how measured the posts of the past year and a half have been. So yesterday and today i have been wading through the triathlon and running posts. I'm not going to be using MapMyTri anymore (you basically have to use an app now) but i do hope to continue logging workouts here. I really need to start writing more for EH4R again. And because i'm teaching two knitting classes this fall, i'll most likely be blogging at BTL more in the near future, as well. Now if i could only find a "real" job. I applied at Michaels to teach knitting classes, but they apparently can't be bothered to get in touch with me. So who knows what i'll be doing in the months to come.
ETA: "Why Athena?" you may be asking. This is to focus on the fact that i am an obese triathlete. Even if i were to lose all the weight (which i hope i am capable of achieving, but at the same time doubt) i would still be considered an Athena (when i was lifeguarding in high school and in great shape i weighed 160). So i will always be an Athena even if i never compete under that category and/or choose to compete against my AG (age group). In addition, Athena was considered to be the goddess of wisdom, weaving (which i suppose would make her the patron of knitting, as well), and she's meant to be an unwearying warrior virgin. Yeah, i could do with being more like that.
The purpose of this blog changed quite a bit the last time i changed the title. I had been blogging about personal things mostly, and sometimes political, but after the change it mostly became an exercise log with personal stuff thrown in. These days i keep a lot of my personal rants under lockdown at my LiveJournal and only allow friends to read about them. My super personal messages i am gradually posting over there and deleting over here in an attempt to recover privacy. Not that any of you probably read any of those posts anyway! I was really openly depressed most often when i first started this blog.
I am actually surprised how measured the posts of the past year and a half have been. So yesterday and today i have been wading through the triathlon and running posts. I'm not going to be using MapMyTri anymore (you basically have to use an app now) but i do hope to continue logging workouts here. I really need to start writing more for EH4R again. And because i'm teaching two knitting classes this fall, i'll most likely be blogging at BTL more in the near future, as well. Now if i could only find a "real" job. I applied at Michaels to teach knitting classes, but they apparently can't be bothered to get in touch with me. So who knows what i'll be doing in the months to come.
ETA: "Why Athena?" you may be asking. This is to focus on the fact that i am an obese triathlete. Even if i were to lose all the weight (which i hope i am capable of achieving, but at the same time doubt) i would still be considered an Athena (when i was lifeguarding in high school and in great shape i weighed 160). So i will always be an Athena even if i never compete under that category and/or choose to compete against my AG (age group). In addition, Athena was considered to be the goddess of wisdom, weaving (which i suppose would make her the patron of knitting, as well), and she's meant to be an unwearying warrior virgin. Yeah, i could do with being more like that.
to tri or not to tri?
So i've been out of school for about two months and have yet to find a job. I feel like i'm still recovering from school, actually. Anyway, prospective employers thus far have been very rude and not even done so much as let me know that they've received my application or the position has been filled, etc. I really don't understand unprofessional behavior like refusing to provide information about a position. If you advertise that you have an opening then you should be prepared to inform applicants about requirements, benefits, etc. So basically i keep applying for jobs that i don't really have much information about and never hear anything back.
I have mixed feelings about trying to train for triathlons again. I really don't see how i could afford to do so while unemployed. I can't pay for a gym membership. I suppose i could focus only on cycling and running (which isn't too bad, seeing how swimming is my strongest event, and if i improve on the other two then my swimming will probably automatically improve as well). But no more can i afford to enter any triathlons. That, with the heat and my allergies being terrible this year, has really been a deterrent to throwing myself back into training.
On the 4th i rode my bike almost 10 miles. We had been camping, and were coming home the "back" way, which is to say taking the dirt rode that zigzags down the mountain rather than taking the highway the long way around. After a point, three of my siblings and i started to coast down the mountain, and three of us kept going the entire way home. This may sound like it isn't a very exhausting prospect...well, things couldn't be further from the truth. There were several factors at work here.
I keep telling myself that i need a goal. I have no idea what to aim for. I thought about Escape from Alcatraz. For some reason, ever since i heard of that race, i've thought it was the ultimate goal race for me. Challenging swim and shorter bike leg (though considering the fact that it's in San Fran...is probably brutal). So i thought, hey, maybe if i start training now i can do a bunch of sprints in 2012 and break into olympics in 2013. One of them ideally being Alcatraz. And then i looked up the requirements at the website. You have to compete in another race first. Not only that, but you have to come in first or second for your age group. So i guess that's entirely out of the question.
Even if i did nothing but train, i don't see that i could be winning triathlons within a year. I'm an athena. I will probably always be an athena. There are ten "Director's Choice" slots, but making it to Alcatraz seems like a complete impossibility.
I keep thinking about a video that i watched back in May about a young man who was obese and depressed and ran his weight off and got his life back on track. It's very frustrating to me that my results were nowhere near the same. I had a string of injuries, never lost weight, then gained more weight. I know that it could have been worse, but i feel cheated. Why can't i run faster? Longer? Same question about my bike. I don't care as much about my swim. I'm swimming faster than ever, probably because my body is more buoyant than ever. I don't want to win triathlons, i just want to be able to finish them. I want to get my body back. I'm scared to even try again. I weigh even more now than last time around and have less money. No one will train with me. I'm hot just sitting here, let alone trying to go outside when the sun is up.
But i keep wondering. Of course i can't succeed if i keep telling myself that i can't. I read about people who thought they would never be able to finish a marathon or an ironman, about them realizing that they could do it. They say that the reason people can't achieve things is because they tell themselves that they can't. Tell that to my high school self, who worked her ass off but had coaches and teammates intent on tearing her down every day. No one is ever going to tell me that i can do this, and even if they did, i wouldn't believe them. I have to tell myself. I just don't know how to get from here to there.
I have mixed feelings about trying to train for triathlons again. I really don't see how i could afford to do so while unemployed. I can't pay for a gym membership. I suppose i could focus only on cycling and running (which isn't too bad, seeing how swimming is my strongest event, and if i improve on the other two then my swimming will probably automatically improve as well). But no more can i afford to enter any triathlons. That, with the heat and my allergies being terrible this year, has really been a deterrent to throwing myself back into training.
On the 4th i rode my bike almost 10 miles. We had been camping, and were coming home the "back" way, which is to say taking the dirt rode that zigzags down the mountain rather than taking the highway the long way around. After a point, three of my siblings and i started to coast down the mountain, and three of us kept going the entire way home. This may sound like it isn't a very exhausting prospect...well, things couldn't be further from the truth. There were several factors at work here.
- I haven't been riding much lately and didn't have my padded shorts on.
- My siblings are all younger than me and I felt it was important to stay behind the youngest and make sure she was safe...so i used the breaks more than i would have had i been alone.
- There was some uphill pedaling... There wasn't a lot, but at least one stretch was a steep incline.
- High altitude + bad allergies = hard to breathe (this improved the lower in elevation we got).
- It was hot! In the mid-70s (F) at the top and low 90s at the bottom.
- We didn't have enough water on the bikes (though we did periodically stop to get a drink out of the van, which was following us)
- Though coasting, i discovered that i was diverting my weight to the pedals more than i would have expected. Rather than keeping them at equal heights to the ground (as one does when mountain biking), i kept alternating which pedal was lower and shifting in the seat so my weight was over the pedal.
I keep telling myself that i need a goal. I have no idea what to aim for. I thought about Escape from Alcatraz. For some reason, ever since i heard of that race, i've thought it was the ultimate goal race for me. Challenging swim and shorter bike leg (though considering the fact that it's in San Fran...is probably brutal). So i thought, hey, maybe if i start training now i can do a bunch of sprints in 2012 and break into olympics in 2013. One of them ideally being Alcatraz. And then i looked up the requirements at the website. You have to compete in another race first. Not only that, but you have to come in first or second for your age group. So i guess that's entirely out of the question.
Even if i did nothing but train, i don't see that i could be winning triathlons within a year. I'm an athena. I will probably always be an athena. There are ten "Director's Choice" slots, but making it to Alcatraz seems like a complete impossibility.
I keep thinking about a video that i watched back in May about a young man who was obese and depressed and ran his weight off and got his life back on track. It's very frustrating to me that my results were nowhere near the same. I had a string of injuries, never lost weight, then gained more weight. I know that it could have been worse, but i feel cheated. Why can't i run faster? Longer? Same question about my bike. I don't care as much about my swim. I'm swimming faster than ever, probably because my body is more buoyant than ever. I don't want to win triathlons, i just want to be able to finish them. I want to get my body back. I'm scared to even try again. I weigh even more now than last time around and have less money. No one will train with me. I'm hot just sitting here, let alone trying to go outside when the sun is up.
But i keep wondering. Of course i can't succeed if i keep telling myself that i can't. I read about people who thought they would never be able to finish a marathon or an ironman, about them realizing that they could do it. They say that the reason people can't achieve things is because they tell themselves that they can't. Tell that to my high school self, who worked her ass off but had coaches and teammates intent on tearing her down every day. No one is ever going to tell me that i can do this, and even if they did, i wouldn't believe them. I have to tell myself. I just don't know how to get from here to there.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
musings on Triathlete
First off, i am now a college graduate (well, as of tomorrow), and hope to have more time to actually write...seeing how that is what i went to school for.
Secondly, i am so ready to resume training. I have been/felt far too busy this semester to do much of anything. I think i got two runs in. My father was too busy to put the bike rack on my car (and i still have no idea where he's hid it) so i didn't get to ride on campus once, which is a real shame as Monday, Wednesday, Friday i had to speedwalk across campus and would have much more preferred cycling.
Thirdly, i listened to the audio book version of Born to Run and have been contemplating modifying my footfall/gait/etc. I grew up running around barefoot and long to be able to love running again.
So...about Triathlete. The local library gets it, and i have picked up somewhere between 5-10 issues and at least scanned it cover to cover. A couple of letters to the editor caught my attention in the April 2011 issue. First off, is WD-40 a lubricant or not? Two readers point out that it's not, and then a senior editor chimes in by quoting the article and denying that it's called a lubricant. I'm not sure if we're meant to trust him, admire his audacity, or laugh, because he quoted the part of the article that calls it a lubricant. In a section praising the benefits of using WD-40 the author calls it "that trusty blue can of lubricant." Guess what, WD-40 comes in a blue can and was the topic of the paragraph, so it stands to reason that it's the topic of a sentence in the middle of the paragraph, too. It's bad writing and editing all around.
But my main concern is the letter entitled "California Girls." Ms. Brenda Travis complains that the models in a photoshoot for an article were so thin that they must have had implants and liposuction, so she complains about the casual use of plastic surgery. She then points to the females pictured on other pages as better examples of the female form. Well, i hate to break it to Brenda, but i can't find a single picture in Triathlete of a woman who isn't super-thin, whether she is a model (Must they frown at the camera? Is it bad to look like you're having fun when you're working out?) or a super-athlete. This has been niggling at me for a while now, but i've been too busy to give full voice to it.
The fact is, though there are a couple of token articles geared towards beginners and athenas/clydesdales, Triathlete seems to very much be an Ironman, professional athlete, expensive gear required type of enterprise. Their "inspirational" tales are about people who are super thin and clad in name brand athletic wear that is far too tight for the average person, let alone an athena such as myself.
In fact, Triathlete takes this so far that it's offensive. Starting on page 92 there is an article entitled "Lose Weight to Train (Don't Train to Lose Weight)." They didn't even find an overweight or average sized person to picture, no there's a cartoonish "Evolution of Man" spoof where a man starts out bent over and spitting and gradually starts to run. First off, this is disgusting, not to mention offensive. The man seems to buff up a bit, but he's not really out of shape to begin with. Are we meant to believe that anyone who isn't a triathlete should be equated with a chimp? Turn the page, and we discover "Rule No. 1" which seems to think that it's reasonable to diet with an 800 calorie a day intake if you aren't training...as long as you have "proper medical supervision." Excuse me? Any doctor who would supervise that wouldn't be "proper." Our bodies are not meant to shed weight that fast, it places a far greater danger to our health than remaining a heavier weight does. To sum up, Mr. Matt Fitzgerald endorses losing weight before training with an odd preference for starving one's self rather than having a healthy diet combined with exercise. I can't even believe that Triathlete published this nonsense. Use some common sense.
I do agree that the goal should be fitness, far more than it should be weightloss. That is the belief that has always guided me when exercising, which is good, because i don't lose much weight when training. But over the past couple of months i have realized that i don't want to look like the typical athlete. I don't want to have the newest and most expensive equipment. I don't want to dress in a way that is virtually identical to everyone that i am racing against. I like standing out, which is just as well because i can't help it. I've always been an Other, an outsider, i never chose that, it's the way people treat me. I'm not into denying who i am or using ingratiating behavior just to make others feel better about themselves and like me more because i am stroking their ego in an unhealthy way. No, i'm about genuine relationships where people are different, people are loved for who they are, and people actually encourage one another for being who they really are rather than a social construct. To me, being pro-athlete or model thin is a very unhealthy social construct.
I don't want to live thinking "i would run this much faster if i just lost ten pounds." I don't want to train thinking "if i bought that $2000 bike then i could be in the top ten." No, i want to train and live competing against my former self. I want to live and train knowing that i finished the race through persistence and endurance, not because i paid for the best tech or tore my body apart. I know that i am beautiful at this size, and i don't want to ever be smaller than a size 12 ever again (which is good, because i don't think that such a goal would be healthy or attainable).
Okay, so Mr. Fitzgerald has a couple of good points in his article, and the article is okay, but it also has some glaring opinions in it that just don't settle well for me. But that still begs the question of who it's geared at. He's not writing for me, that's abundantly clear; he's writing for people who are already a healthy(ish) weight but want to weigh even less to be faster. He's looking at the people who gained a little weight during the off-season, not the people who live with their weight for decades and have varying body images and opinions.
I guess that my real issue here is that (per usual) i do not fit in the mold that they are trying to put me in. While people are breaking world records for fastest race, i have still only finished one. I can't afford to travel the world racing. I don't know if i could ever be in an Ironman or the Olympics...probably not. But the competitive part of me...part of me wants to really submerge myself into this world and beat people who weigh half as much as me. The main part of me, though, longs for the camaraderie that was talked about in Born to Run. I don't know if i can embrace everything in that book, but i want to embrace some of it. Once again i have a long road ahead of me...but that's okay. It's the journey that counts. I know where my ultimate destination is.
Secondly, i am so ready to resume training. I have been/felt far too busy this semester to do much of anything. I think i got two runs in. My father was too busy to put the bike rack on my car (and i still have no idea where he's hid it) so i didn't get to ride on campus once, which is a real shame as Monday, Wednesday, Friday i had to speedwalk across campus and would have much more preferred cycling.
Thirdly, i listened to the audio book version of Born to Run and have been contemplating modifying my footfall/gait/etc. I grew up running around barefoot and long to be able to love running again.
So...about Triathlete. The local library gets it, and i have picked up somewhere between 5-10 issues and at least scanned it cover to cover. A couple of letters to the editor caught my attention in the April 2011 issue. First off, is WD-40 a lubricant or not? Two readers point out that it's not, and then a senior editor chimes in by quoting the article and denying that it's called a lubricant. I'm not sure if we're meant to trust him, admire his audacity, or laugh, because he quoted the part of the article that calls it a lubricant. In a section praising the benefits of using WD-40 the author calls it "that trusty blue can of lubricant." Guess what, WD-40 comes in a blue can and was the topic of the paragraph, so it stands to reason that it's the topic of a sentence in the middle of the paragraph, too. It's bad writing and editing all around.
But my main concern is the letter entitled "California Girls." Ms. Brenda Travis complains that the models in a photoshoot for an article were so thin that they must have had implants and liposuction, so she complains about the casual use of plastic surgery. She then points to the females pictured on other pages as better examples of the female form. Well, i hate to break it to Brenda, but i can't find a single picture in Triathlete of a woman who isn't super-thin, whether she is a model (Must they frown at the camera? Is it bad to look like you're having fun when you're working out?) or a super-athlete. This has been niggling at me for a while now, but i've been too busy to give full voice to it.
The fact is, though there are a couple of token articles geared towards beginners and athenas/clydesdales, Triathlete seems to very much be an Ironman, professional athlete, expensive gear required type of enterprise. Their "inspirational" tales are about people who are super thin and clad in name brand athletic wear that is far too tight for the average person, let alone an athena such as myself.
In fact, Triathlete takes this so far that it's offensive. Starting on page 92 there is an article entitled "Lose Weight to Train (Don't Train to Lose Weight)." They didn't even find an overweight or average sized person to picture, no there's a cartoonish "Evolution of Man" spoof where a man starts out bent over and spitting and gradually starts to run. First off, this is disgusting, not to mention offensive. The man seems to buff up a bit, but he's not really out of shape to begin with. Are we meant to believe that anyone who isn't a triathlete should be equated with a chimp? Turn the page, and we discover "Rule No. 1" which seems to think that it's reasonable to diet with an 800 calorie a day intake if you aren't training...as long as you have "proper medical supervision." Excuse me? Any doctor who would supervise that wouldn't be "proper." Our bodies are not meant to shed weight that fast, it places a far greater danger to our health than remaining a heavier weight does. To sum up, Mr. Matt Fitzgerald endorses losing weight before training with an odd preference for starving one's self rather than having a healthy diet combined with exercise. I can't even believe that Triathlete published this nonsense. Use some common sense.
I do agree that the goal should be fitness, far more than it should be weightloss. That is the belief that has always guided me when exercising, which is good, because i don't lose much weight when training. But over the past couple of months i have realized that i don't want to look like the typical athlete. I don't want to have the newest and most expensive equipment. I don't want to dress in a way that is virtually identical to everyone that i am racing against. I like standing out, which is just as well because i can't help it. I've always been an Other, an outsider, i never chose that, it's the way people treat me. I'm not into denying who i am or using ingratiating behavior just to make others feel better about themselves and like me more because i am stroking their ego in an unhealthy way. No, i'm about genuine relationships where people are different, people are loved for who they are, and people actually encourage one another for being who they really are rather than a social construct. To me, being pro-athlete or model thin is a very unhealthy social construct.
I don't want to live thinking "i would run this much faster if i just lost ten pounds." I don't want to train thinking "if i bought that $2000 bike then i could be in the top ten." No, i want to train and live competing against my former self. I want to live and train knowing that i finished the race through persistence and endurance, not because i paid for the best tech or tore my body apart. I know that i am beautiful at this size, and i don't want to ever be smaller than a size 12 ever again (which is good, because i don't think that such a goal would be healthy or attainable).
Okay, so Mr. Fitzgerald has a couple of good points in his article, and the article is okay, but it also has some glaring opinions in it that just don't settle well for me. But that still begs the question of who it's geared at. He's not writing for me, that's abundantly clear; he's writing for people who are already a healthy(ish) weight but want to weigh even less to be faster. He's looking at the people who gained a little weight during the off-season, not the people who live with their weight for decades and have varying body images and opinions.
I guess that my real issue here is that (per usual) i do not fit in the mold that they are trying to put me in. While people are breaking world records for fastest race, i have still only finished one. I can't afford to travel the world racing. I don't know if i could ever be in an Ironman or the Olympics...probably not. But the competitive part of me...part of me wants to really submerge myself into this world and beat people who weigh half as much as me. The main part of me, though, longs for the camaraderie that was talked about in Born to Run. I don't know if i can embrace everything in that book, but i want to embrace some of it. Once again i have a long road ahead of me...but that's okay. It's the journey that counts. I know where my ultimate destination is.
Sunday, April 03, 2011
training?
I don't know what to do, i've only been able to gain weight over the past 11+ years, it's very frustrating. But i went running on Friday, starting over with Cto5k Week 1, and rode my bike about 3 miles yesterday, which wasn't especially strenuous (younger siblings came along, so there was a lot of stopping and starting), but i am sore from the running, which didn't go as well as i would have liked.
Trying to lose weight is incredibly frustrating. Training and dieting are both futile, and any time i'm not training...well i pretty much weigh more than i ever have before right now. In fact, it's getting pretty dire. I just wish that i knew what to do about it.
Trying to lose weight is incredibly frustrating. Training and dieting are both futile, and any time i'm not training...well i pretty much weigh more than i ever have before right now. In fact, it's getting pretty dire. I just wish that i knew what to do about it.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
i just realized
i usually don't carry cash very much anymore. i rarely take the time to go to an ATM, and some of the ones i do use charge fees (which eventually gets refunded to me, but still, is ridiculous). For some reason, i don't like to get cash with my debit card when checking out at the grocery store or Wal-Mart or wherever. It just feels wrong somehow, like i'm being lazy, which is ridiculous because if i only need $20-40 (which is probable) then it is a very efficient way to get money without having to pay a fee. When did i get so set in my old ways that i didn't adapt with the changing times and ease of cash back with my debit purchases?
political apologetics
Last night i watched some West Wing from the first season, which is something that i hadn't done in a very long time. i was shocked to discover that i had seen six out of the first eight episodes. i didn't think i started watching the show until the second or third season. i'm wondering if i caught reruns later on and didn't realize that it was the first season because Moira Kelly is only in half of the episodes.
i forgot how much i loved this show. i absolutely love CJ's klutziness and ineptitude with men (which is funny because Danny's throwing himself at her). i love Toby's crankiness and Sam and Josh's sarcasm. i love Leo's authority and quiet fortitude in the face of his divorce. i love that Donna wants to buy a dvd player, but can't because the administration doesn't "trust her to make a smart investment" so she keeps the change from Josh's lunch for the same reason. i love the chemistry between Jed and Abbey, how she didn't come in right away but was instantly the perfect first lady for the president that has the tendency to get pissed off at the wrong time for the right reasons. i love how this president is pro-life and has faith despite the fact that he's a Democrat (actually, his Catholicism is probably why he's a Democrat, i'm merely commenting on the fact that most in that party are not pro-life, though i am glad to say there are exceptions), that he's a complete nerd, that everyone in the office is brilliant, but makes mistakes like the rest of us.
At the moment, i am exhausted with politics. One of the things i dislike about the West Wing is the tendency for the characters to get conceited towards whoever they're talking to, with total disregard for the person's personal beliefs, because the former "knows" that he or she is smarter, and right. i will allow that very often this attitude turns around to bite them in the butt, but not always. i'm thinking of one time where the Prez and VP are having a fight because they both feel as if the other man is slighting them, not giving enough respect. Why do men have such conceit? Why do they have to strut and make themselves look stupid in attempt to achieve the opposite?
i will never vote any party line. If i was in Congress, i would vote my conscience. i'm not good at falling in line just to fulfill the wishes of someone with their own agenda for its own sake instead of primarily doing what's right for the country and its citizens. Which of course is why i'll never be in Congress, because our government apparently isn't run that way.
The most important issue to me with always be life. i feel bad for Michael J. Fox, i do, but i will never be able to justify using the helpless in an attempt to strengthen the strong, particularly when research with adult stem cells has proved to be more promising than fetal stem cells. i know it's not popular to be pro-life, because everyone wants to feel as if they have been empowered to make whatever choice they want in order to make themself feel better, stronger, etc., but that always needs to be prefaced with not harming anyone else... Which is why i do not understand the Libertarian line on being pro-choice: if hurting others does not apply to killing an innocent and helpless baby, then what does? Punishing someone else for your own mistakes is wrong (not that i consider a baby to be a mistake).
i believe in smaller government, because government has the tendency to take away freedoms, to attempt to control that which should be up to the individual, to become a nanny state that wants to take care of its people from cradle to grave. i believe in individuals empowering themselves, not having anyone tell them "this is how you must live your life because we say so." That isn't a life. i am against socialism 100% because it penalizes the successful for achieving success and says that the individual has no right to defend one's self from those that would seek to put him or her down and keep them there. i am for freedom and capitalism because other systems subvert the right to liberty and to pursue happiness. One's happiness should never depend on the government taking money away from one neighbor and give it to the neighbor who refuses to take part in the pursuit or is less able (taking care of those less able is a responsibility of the Church and charities).
i don't believe in evolution, and if i did then i would be for Survival of the Fittest in terms of man: we are at the top of the food chain. So it makes absolutely no sense for an evolutionist to believe in protecting the environment because we would only be doing what we had evolved to do. i don't believe in global warming, but i believe in conservation and protecting the environment as long as it is not at the loss of human life and livelihood (in other words, within reason). The Bible tells us that man is meant to subdue and protect the earth.
i believe in the Constitution, in what the Founding Fathers were trying to achieve, even as i acknowledge that there were some compromises made within its lines. The Declaration of Independence stated that all men are created equal, and it's horrible how America took advantage of Native Americans and slaves (no matter what their heritage), but i cannot change that. i cannot make any reparations, i can only fight against enslaving new peoples. Even as i am proud of my German heritage, i am aware that my American grandparents' distant cousins allowed (perhaps even caused) horrible things to happen. i cannot change that, either, i can only speak out against it happening in this country as well.
i have never wanted to live in the past before, but oh how i envy how our ancestors were able to travel to a new, untamed land, and form it with their hands into something better. There is no place left on this earth that hasn't been claimed, that cannot be worked by people of all races working to improve their lives while remaining mindful of their equality, own ability to overcome problem's that their peers may fail at, protect the land they have been given, and choose to help enable their neighbors when they are able. Despite my great love for this country, in some ways i am ready to abandon it, for fear of what it is pressing towards becoming. Obama is no Bartlet, and even as i hope for deliverance i live in fear.
i do not believe in world peace. i know that sounds horrible, but it's true. i'm no xenophobe, i want to travel around the world, i don't want to wage war, but praying for one world government, for world peace, is like begging God to enable the anti-Christ. Read your Bible, things are going to be horrific once this happens.
i am not British, but i have grown up reading their literature and learning about their history (more about their history than any other foreign country, at least). There is a chance that i have some Scottish blood in me, but i do not know that with complete certainty. When i say that i am a Conservative, i will not ever apologize for that, but that does not mean the same thing to the rest of the world, or even to many in this country, that it does to one who is conservative It is important to understand the process that brought our country to the point where, what once was an outrageous idea, is now the one that is set in stone and steeped in hundreds of years of history. i am definitely no expert in the matter, but i have a bit of an understanding that the Founding Fathers were intellectuals that knew what parts of Roman republicanism worked and incorporated that with aspects of British parliamentary practices. They knew that having a king can be just as dangerous as having a dictator, and had learned from earlier colonists that socialism was a good way to make colonies fail.
So they did the unthinkable and formed a government that limited the powers of the government and empowered the rights of the individual. This didn't work perfectly, because at first the federal government didn't have enough power, and slave owners had more rights than they should have, but even the authors of a noble experiment are fallible and likely to make mistakes. The question is whether or not we have learned from those mistakes. The ideals espoused by America's Founding Fathers are still considered to be extreme by people around the world, to be a beacon of hope to the people who believe in the same dream they did. i'm sure that many consider those ideals to be liberal (in the truest sense of the world), but over time these ideals stopped being strongly espoused by many in the Democrat party and became the protectorate of the then newly formed Republican party, that is to say Lincoln's party. We were liberal enough to change the Constitution to free the slaves but conservative enough to cling to the ideas in the Constitution that work. Now we are considered to just be backwards, when in reality we are still carrying the banner in an ongoing experiment.
i do not know much about the Progressives in this country, and most of my information on them is from Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, who i do not always agree with but acknowledge are smarter and better informed than i am (it helps to have a staff, i'm sure). But the Progressives, who are hiding behind the labels of liberal and Democrat, are really nothing of the sort. Democrats originally were called Democratic Republicans, and held to the same ideals now considered to be conservative (some still do, of course). The Democrat party has been hijacked by people who want us to believe that they are trying something new, a noble experiment where everyone is equal and everything will be sunshine and daisies. The trouble is that it's all a lie. They are only espousing socialism, Marxism, etc, they only want to take money from the rich and keep everyone poor in order to place themselves in power, and anyone who does not fall in line will be damned. i watched the Hiding Place last week, i saw a little of what the Nazis did to those who spoke up for those who did not have a voice. You can watch Schindler's List to see a bit of what happened to the people the Ten Booms were speaking up for.
i ask you, is that what anyone wants America to become? Do we want the people with large families to be arrested? The people who believe in the same God that the majority of our Founding Fathers did to be told that they cannot teach their own children what they believe? You laugh at me, but children are already being (essentially) brainwashed in public schools and there were hints of getting children to inform on their parents even a couple of decades ago (i'm sure it's worse now). Having a large family, something which was once normal (in Austen's day, a family of eight children was *small*), is now considered to be incredible, even crazy. Now we are told that our planet does not have enough resources to sustain us and that we are selfish to love our children while the rest of the world suffers (even as governments controlled by those with similar feelings to the Progressives keep those peoples controlled and held down).
It astounds me how many people are against the war in Iraq. Did it happen for the wrong reasons? Of course it did. Were there any nukes? No, but Hussein wanted us to think that there were, he thumbed his nose at us, and lied through his teeth. The truth is that he did have weapons that he wasn't meant to and the he was suppressing a people just as the Nazis suppressed the Jews and many Christians (those termed political prisoners). Why are we saying that it was a bad thing to overthrow a tyrant such as this? Why is it a horrible thing to rebuild a country that was ravaged by its own leader? Oh, i know, it's not our place to help them rebuild, what then should we say to Japan and every other country on this planet that owes the U.S. money because we helped them rebuild. Yes, we nuked Japan, we have waged war (and not always in ways that were right), but we always try to rebuild things better than before we came.
Is this news to anyone? America stopped socialism and communism in other countries, and struck blows to them elsewhere, all to be demonized for standing up for the principles we were founded upon. Tyranny is not as easy to get away with as it once was, though in my opinion it is still far too easy. Now the Progressives are here, ready to strike at the heart of those who have defended the weak, the poor, for so long, and helped them achieve greatness. What will happen to the world if we--the Beacon for freedom--should fall? Who will stand against oppression then? There will be no one, such will be the day that the anti-christ comes to power. The world will rejoice, the Christians will hopefully be raptured, and the Jews will go into hiding. Those who stand for freedom, for the radical ideas that were espoused by the Founding Fathers, will be mocked and killed. Right now, that time seems closer than ever.
ETA: i firmly uphold everyone's right to believe and say whatever they choose, but i will never remain silent to appease those who are ignorant or have ill will. i know that many disagree with me, i mean no hatred or disrespect, and am not seeking to start a fight, but hopefully gently inform. However, i am tired of being insulted every single day i sit in class because people around me don't believe that my opinion is as valid, or smart, as theirs. i love history, i love the USA, and i pray for its people, those who are content to be led into the darkness because they do not or cannot recognize it for what it is. This battle is not about what political party one belongs to, but whether we are willing to stand against, what history shows to be a brutal and would be just as much (if not more) so were such a regime to come to power in the United States.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
~ George Santayana
i forgot how much i loved this show. i absolutely love CJ's klutziness and ineptitude with men (which is funny because Danny's throwing himself at her). i love Toby's crankiness and Sam and Josh's sarcasm. i love Leo's authority and quiet fortitude in the face of his divorce. i love that Donna wants to buy a dvd player, but can't because the administration doesn't "trust her to make a smart investment" so she keeps the change from Josh's lunch for the same reason. i love the chemistry between Jed and Abbey, how she didn't come in right away but was instantly the perfect first lady for the president that has the tendency to get pissed off at the wrong time for the right reasons. i love how this president is pro-life and has faith despite the fact that he's a Democrat (actually, his Catholicism is probably why he's a Democrat, i'm merely commenting on the fact that most in that party are not pro-life, though i am glad to say there are exceptions), that he's a complete nerd, that everyone in the office is brilliant, but makes mistakes like the rest of us.
At the moment, i am exhausted with politics. One of the things i dislike about the West Wing is the tendency for the characters to get conceited towards whoever they're talking to, with total disregard for the person's personal beliefs, because the former "knows" that he or she is smarter, and right. i will allow that very often this attitude turns around to bite them in the butt, but not always. i'm thinking of one time where the Prez and VP are having a fight because they both feel as if the other man is slighting them, not giving enough respect. Why do men have such conceit? Why do they have to strut and make themselves look stupid in attempt to achieve the opposite?
i will never vote any party line. If i was in Congress, i would vote my conscience. i'm not good at falling in line just to fulfill the wishes of someone with their own agenda for its own sake instead of primarily doing what's right for the country and its citizens. Which of course is why i'll never be in Congress, because our government apparently isn't run that way.
The most important issue to me with always be life. i feel bad for Michael J. Fox, i do, but i will never be able to justify using the helpless in an attempt to strengthen the strong, particularly when research with adult stem cells has proved to be more promising than fetal stem cells. i know it's not popular to be pro-life, because everyone wants to feel as if they have been empowered to make whatever choice they want in order to make themself feel better, stronger, etc., but that always needs to be prefaced with not harming anyone else... Which is why i do not understand the Libertarian line on being pro-choice: if hurting others does not apply to killing an innocent and helpless baby, then what does? Punishing someone else for your own mistakes is wrong (not that i consider a baby to be a mistake).
i believe in smaller government, because government has the tendency to take away freedoms, to attempt to control that which should be up to the individual, to become a nanny state that wants to take care of its people from cradle to grave. i believe in individuals empowering themselves, not having anyone tell them "this is how you must live your life because we say so." That isn't a life. i am against socialism 100% because it penalizes the successful for achieving success and says that the individual has no right to defend one's self from those that would seek to put him or her down and keep them there. i am for freedom and capitalism because other systems subvert the right to liberty and to pursue happiness. One's happiness should never depend on the government taking money away from one neighbor and give it to the neighbor who refuses to take part in the pursuit or is less able (taking care of those less able is a responsibility of the Church and charities).
i don't believe in evolution, and if i did then i would be for Survival of the Fittest in terms of man: we are at the top of the food chain. So it makes absolutely no sense for an evolutionist to believe in protecting the environment because we would only be doing what we had evolved to do. i don't believe in global warming, but i believe in conservation and protecting the environment as long as it is not at the loss of human life and livelihood (in other words, within reason). The Bible tells us that man is meant to subdue and protect the earth.
i believe in the Constitution, in what the Founding Fathers were trying to achieve, even as i acknowledge that there were some compromises made within its lines. The Declaration of Independence stated that all men are created equal, and it's horrible how America took advantage of Native Americans and slaves (no matter what their heritage), but i cannot change that. i cannot make any reparations, i can only fight against enslaving new peoples. Even as i am proud of my German heritage, i am aware that my American grandparents' distant cousins allowed (perhaps even caused) horrible things to happen. i cannot change that, either, i can only speak out against it happening in this country as well.
i have never wanted to live in the past before, but oh how i envy how our ancestors were able to travel to a new, untamed land, and form it with their hands into something better. There is no place left on this earth that hasn't been claimed, that cannot be worked by people of all races working to improve their lives while remaining mindful of their equality, own ability to overcome problem's that their peers may fail at, protect the land they have been given, and choose to help enable their neighbors when they are able. Despite my great love for this country, in some ways i am ready to abandon it, for fear of what it is pressing towards becoming. Obama is no Bartlet, and even as i hope for deliverance i live in fear.
i do not believe in world peace. i know that sounds horrible, but it's true. i'm no xenophobe, i want to travel around the world, i don't want to wage war, but praying for one world government, for world peace, is like begging God to enable the anti-Christ. Read your Bible, things are going to be horrific once this happens.
i am not British, but i have grown up reading their literature and learning about their history (more about their history than any other foreign country, at least). There is a chance that i have some Scottish blood in me, but i do not know that with complete certainty. When i say that i am a Conservative, i will not ever apologize for that, but that does not mean the same thing to the rest of the world, or even to many in this country, that it does to one who is conservative It is important to understand the process that brought our country to the point where, what once was an outrageous idea, is now the one that is set in stone and steeped in hundreds of years of history. i am definitely no expert in the matter, but i have a bit of an understanding that the Founding Fathers were intellectuals that knew what parts of Roman republicanism worked and incorporated that with aspects of British parliamentary practices. They knew that having a king can be just as dangerous as having a dictator, and had learned from earlier colonists that socialism was a good way to make colonies fail.
So they did the unthinkable and formed a government that limited the powers of the government and empowered the rights of the individual. This didn't work perfectly, because at first the federal government didn't have enough power, and slave owners had more rights than they should have, but even the authors of a noble experiment are fallible and likely to make mistakes. The question is whether or not we have learned from those mistakes. The ideals espoused by America's Founding Fathers are still considered to be extreme by people around the world, to be a beacon of hope to the people who believe in the same dream they did. i'm sure that many consider those ideals to be liberal (in the truest sense of the world), but over time these ideals stopped being strongly espoused by many in the Democrat party and became the protectorate of the then newly formed Republican party, that is to say Lincoln's party. We were liberal enough to change the Constitution to free the slaves but conservative enough to cling to the ideas in the Constitution that work. Now we are considered to just be backwards, when in reality we are still carrying the banner in an ongoing experiment.
i do not know much about the Progressives in this country, and most of my information on them is from Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh, who i do not always agree with but acknowledge are smarter and better informed than i am (it helps to have a staff, i'm sure). But the Progressives, who are hiding behind the labels of liberal and Democrat, are really nothing of the sort. Democrats originally were called Democratic Republicans, and held to the same ideals now considered to be conservative (some still do, of course). The Democrat party has been hijacked by people who want us to believe that they are trying something new, a noble experiment where everyone is equal and everything will be sunshine and daisies. The trouble is that it's all a lie. They are only espousing socialism, Marxism, etc, they only want to take money from the rich and keep everyone poor in order to place themselves in power, and anyone who does not fall in line will be damned. i watched the Hiding Place last week, i saw a little of what the Nazis did to those who spoke up for those who did not have a voice. You can watch Schindler's List to see a bit of what happened to the people the Ten Booms were speaking up for.
i ask you, is that what anyone wants America to become? Do we want the people with large families to be arrested? The people who believe in the same God that the majority of our Founding Fathers did to be told that they cannot teach their own children what they believe? You laugh at me, but children are already being (essentially) brainwashed in public schools and there were hints of getting children to inform on their parents even a couple of decades ago (i'm sure it's worse now). Having a large family, something which was once normal (in Austen's day, a family of eight children was *small*), is now considered to be incredible, even crazy. Now we are told that our planet does not have enough resources to sustain us and that we are selfish to love our children while the rest of the world suffers (even as governments controlled by those with similar feelings to the Progressives keep those peoples controlled and held down).
It astounds me how many people are against the war in Iraq. Did it happen for the wrong reasons? Of course it did. Were there any nukes? No, but Hussein wanted us to think that there were, he thumbed his nose at us, and lied through his teeth. The truth is that he did have weapons that he wasn't meant to and the he was suppressing a people just as the Nazis suppressed the Jews and many Christians (those termed political prisoners). Why are we saying that it was a bad thing to overthrow a tyrant such as this? Why is it a horrible thing to rebuild a country that was ravaged by its own leader? Oh, i know, it's not our place to help them rebuild, what then should we say to Japan and every other country on this planet that owes the U.S. money because we helped them rebuild. Yes, we nuked Japan, we have waged war (and not always in ways that were right), but we always try to rebuild things better than before we came.
Is this news to anyone? America stopped socialism and communism in other countries, and struck blows to them elsewhere, all to be demonized for standing up for the principles we were founded upon. Tyranny is not as easy to get away with as it once was, though in my opinion it is still far too easy. Now the Progressives are here, ready to strike at the heart of those who have defended the weak, the poor, for so long, and helped them achieve greatness. What will happen to the world if we--the Beacon for freedom--should fall? Who will stand against oppression then? There will be no one, such will be the day that the anti-christ comes to power. The world will rejoice, the Christians will hopefully be raptured, and the Jews will go into hiding. Those who stand for freedom, for the radical ideas that were espoused by the Founding Fathers, will be mocked and killed. Right now, that time seems closer than ever.
ETA: i firmly uphold everyone's right to believe and say whatever they choose, but i will never remain silent to appease those who are ignorant or have ill will. i know that many disagree with me, i mean no hatred or disrespect, and am not seeking to start a fight, but hopefully gently inform. However, i am tired of being insulted every single day i sit in class because people around me don't believe that my opinion is as valid, or smart, as theirs. i love history, i love the USA, and i pray for its people, those who are content to be led into the darkness because they do not or cannot recognize it for what it is. This battle is not about what political party one belongs to, but whether we are willing to stand against, what history shows to be a brutal and would be just as much (if not more) so were such a regime to come to power in the United States.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
~ George Santayana
Friday, March 12, 2010
owie
My bum hurts. As do my thighs. Actually, i'm just tired all over, really. Headwinds kick my butt. ):
Monday, March 08, 2010
Global Warming and CO2
This is kind of old news, but it seems to world isn't warming after all, and hasn't been since 1995.
Climategate U-Turn
World May Not Be Warming, Says Scientists
Since hearing about those articles, something i have been wondering about lately is whether or not there's enough Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere. Look what i found:
Earth in Carbon Dioxide Famine, Says Scientist
What prompted me enough to write this today? Silly videos like these:
What i don't understand is why they claim wind power is all that great, as it's very finicky, but also claim solar power is both good and bad. Does anyone take stuff like this seriously? i guess it was good for a laugh, if nothing else, but it didn't make any sense whatsoever. For one thing, i'm pretty sure nuclear power has nothing to do with fossil fuels. Who has climate change killed, anyway?
ETA: Since i haven't stated my position on environmentalism lately, maybe now is a good time. i do not believe that Global Warming is a man made phenomenon that we need to be worried about. There's more trees in the U.S. now than when the continent was beginning to be colonized. i also do not consider Carbon Dioxide to be a pollutant because it's a natural substance. Humans breathe it out, plants breathe it in.
i do, however, consider myself to be a conservationist. i believe in national parks. i believe in (controlled) hunting in order to prevent wildlife overpopulation. i believe in reducing and reusing, but that recycling sounds good but is often a waste as we ship our recycling to China and back. i plan to breastfeed and use cloth diapers if i ever get married and have kids, and maybe even compost and garden. In fact, i am very green for a Republican, maybe even too much so. Most of the things i do cost me more and probably aren't actually helping the environment at all.
Climategate U-Turn
World May Not Be Warming, Says Scientists
Since hearing about those articles, something i have been wondering about lately is whether or not there's enough Carbon Dioxide in the atmosphere. Look what i found:
Earth in Carbon Dioxide Famine, Says Scientist
What prompted me enough to write this today? Silly videos like these:
What i don't understand is why they claim wind power is all that great, as it's very finicky, but also claim solar power is both good and bad. Does anyone take stuff like this seriously? i guess it was good for a laugh, if nothing else, but it didn't make any sense whatsoever. For one thing, i'm pretty sure nuclear power has nothing to do with fossil fuels. Who has climate change killed, anyway?
ETA: Since i haven't stated my position on environmentalism lately, maybe now is a good time. i do not believe that Global Warming is a man made phenomenon that we need to be worried about. There's more trees in the U.S. now than when the continent was beginning to be colonized. i also do not consider Carbon Dioxide to be a pollutant because it's a natural substance. Humans breathe it out, plants breathe it in.
i do, however, consider myself to be a conservationist. i believe in national parks. i believe in (controlled) hunting in order to prevent wildlife overpopulation. i believe in reducing and reusing, but that recycling sounds good but is often a waste as we ship our recycling to China and back. i plan to breastfeed and use cloth diapers if i ever get married and have kids, and maybe even compost and garden. In fact, i am very green for a Republican, maybe even too much so. Most of the things i do cost me more and probably aren't actually helping the environment at all.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
meant to post this days ago...
Read this while searching for triathlon gear. i don't totally agree with it, but it does have it's points: Those Fat People are Delusional. Or Not
In related news, i didn't blog about my workout on Thursday, but i did bike over one mile on campus and then about five miles later that afternoon, and i must admit that my calves are really complaining tonight, and my hamstring is tighter than it has been the past couple of days. You see, there was a headwind both ways on my ride: i kid you not, i was riding against the wind about 3/4 of the time, and the rest of the time it wasn't really blowing. This is why i'm still not sure that i like biking. That and the sore butt. And the loneliness (i don't mind swimming or running alone, but for some reason with biking i do). And the fact that it takes forever and i still go up hills too slowly.
i'm also extremely frustrated that i have yet to lose any weight. Am i always going to weigh more than 200 lbs.? i'm not asking for much, just to fit in size 14W or 16W and go below 200. Yeah, my original goal was lower than that, but i don't think it's possible. My body won't allow it. This is my punishment for not eating enough the summer i lifeguarded and lost enough weight to fit in a size 12. Yep, even when i was thin and fit... i was plus sized. So sue me, i have big bones.
In related news, i didn't blog about my workout on Thursday, but i did bike over one mile on campus and then about five miles later that afternoon, and i must admit that my calves are really complaining tonight, and my hamstring is tighter than it has been the past couple of days. You see, there was a headwind both ways on my ride: i kid you not, i was riding against the wind about 3/4 of the time, and the rest of the time it wasn't really blowing. This is why i'm still not sure that i like biking. That and the sore butt. And the loneliness (i don't mind swimming or running alone, but for some reason with biking i do). And the fact that it takes forever and i still go up hills too slowly.
i'm also extremely frustrated that i have yet to lose any weight. Am i always going to weigh more than 200 lbs.? i'm not asking for much, just to fit in size 14W or 16W and go below 200. Yeah, my original goal was lower than that, but i don't think it's possible. My body won't allow it. This is my punishment for not eating enough the summer i lifeguarded and lost enough weight to fit in a size 12. Yep, even when i was thin and fit... i was plus sized. So sue me, i have big bones.
Friday, March 05, 2010
TriNewb W2D3
Was only meant to swim 200m today, but i felt up to more. Once again, my biggest problem is breathing. i have to force myself to blow out while my face is underwater and my heartrate is higher than i'd like. But even though i did chin ups and dips right before getting in the pool, i didn't get very worn out today as far as my arms. My legs were tired from yesterday's ride, however, and though i wanted to swim farther i felt that i shouldn't overdo it too much. Every time i ride to the gym it's over half a mile each way, so i'm getting a lot of exercise. i'm eager to do more but don't want another injury anytime soon.
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
TriNewb W2D1
So far, i am very happy with how my triathlon training is going. i ran at the gym today, on the elliptical, and my leg hardly bothered me at all: it was just a little stiff but not painful. i ran five minutes longer than today's workout called for and swam. Last year, at this point in my training, i was not actually following the full workout, or if i was i felt i was doing very poorly (exhausted and slow). Right now my pace is better than i would have hoped, and the workouts are providing just a little bit of a challenge (granted, i haven't been doing the workouts every day, but then i have been in recovery and biking all over campus in addition). So assuming that my pace and strength continues to improve i think that i have the potential to do a lot better in my next triathlon.
Tomorrow i bike 6 miles and i fully anticipate that i will do much better than my last 5 mile ride simply because i have been riding around campus and am already feeling much more comfortable on my bike again. This week i started dismounting while coasting without even thinking about it, while last week i was more tentative, and would wait to come to a full stop (i was still in a bit of pain of course). Training also makes me feel more optimistic and less stress (haven't been knitting enough to help with that lately, i'm afraid). The only downside is that, once again, i am hungry all the time. i'm trying to cut back on fast food and get back into a healthy diet, which is hard because fast food is there and ready and healthy food takes preparation. i'm serious, i just ate about an hour ago, and i'm already starving. Time to pull out some more veggies... i'll probably finish them while watching Lost.
Tomorrow i bike 6 miles and i fully anticipate that i will do much better than my last 5 mile ride simply because i have been riding around campus and am already feeling much more comfortable on my bike again. This week i started dismounting while coasting without even thinking about it, while last week i was more tentative, and would wait to come to a full stop (i was still in a bit of pain of course). Training also makes me feel more optimistic and less stress (haven't been knitting enough to help with that lately, i'm afraid). The only downside is that, once again, i am hungry all the time. i'm trying to cut back on fast food and get back into a healthy diet, which is hard because fast food is there and ready and healthy food takes preparation. i'm serious, i just ate about an hour ago, and i'm already starving. Time to pull out some more veggies... i'll probably finish them while watching Lost.
Monday, March 01, 2010
TriNewb W1D3
i guess i never got around to writing about how i was injured on February 21: i was running at Trek, where we are preparing for the Trek Bible Quiz and Olympics. Earlier that night i hadn't had any issues really. Well...sprinting gave me a slight cramp in my right hamstring, but it wasn't too painful. i tried stretching a bit, massaging it, and it was still a bit tight, but didn't seem that bad. We set up for the race again, and right when i finished my first lap (of two), i felt a pop in my hamstring, and quite a bit of pain. i didn't collapse, but i knew that i couldn't finish the race, and hobbled about a bit, then sat down with my leg elevated. When i got home i iced it, but it really didn't seem as bad as what i was reading about online. A pop usually denotes a sprain, but i certainly wasn't collapsing and screaming. It certainly isn't debilitating, more annoying. i have been able to ride my bike without too much discomfort, but jumping and running are still too painful.
Despite this setback, i resumed training today in the form of swimming. It didn't occur to me until halfway through my warmup that it would be pretty bad if i got a cramp or intense pain while in the middle of a pool, but of course i'm a bit of a fish, and so buoyant right now that i probably couldn't drown if i tried. As it turned out, freestyle and breaststroke did not bother me at all, backstroke seemed to require too much kicking than is really advisable at the moment, and when i was doing the sidestroke with that leg on top, it was the most likely to get irritated.
i'm still not quite sure how to describe the injury. It was kind of like cramping with almost every step. Now it only bothers me when i try to stretch it or if i land with too much impact. Tomorrow i am going to tentatively try the elliptical trainer, but i don't think i'll be hitting the track for at least another week, and at this point in my recovery i definitely need to stretch it gradually, as my usual flexibility is lacking. After weighing in today, i tried to do the Sun Salute. Reaching up and back did not bother me at all, but when i went down to touch my toes, i couldn't reach as far as usual, and it didn't feel good. i'm thinking that i should stretch every day and maybe work on the Plank if that doesn't hurt too much. i doubt i could do Downward Facing Dog right now.
In more swimming news, i went to JCPenney and was slightly upset by the selection there. They aren't carrying the brand of swimsuit that i wanted to try on in Women's sizes here in town (i know that you can order them online), though at least they had some tankinis in that size, and i did in fact confirm that my top is size 22W. i imagine that even if i lose a lot of weight i will not go down below a 18W due to my bust size (if i even go below a 20W!). Their Misses do go up to size 16 (and appear to be the same as a 16W, astonishingly enough), but i wasn't going to try that on as i knew it wouldn't fit. Maybe next summer i can get some new bottoms there?
So i came home and ordered the top i wanted online. i didn't want to pay the shipping and handling, but oh well. Now the big question is whether my injury will keep me from being ready to be in a triathlon in mid-May. i definitely want to be in the Hustle again in mid-June, if nothing else.
In case you're curious:
It's on sale right now, big plus!
Despite this setback, i resumed training today in the form of swimming. It didn't occur to me until halfway through my warmup that it would be pretty bad if i got a cramp or intense pain while in the middle of a pool, but of course i'm a bit of a fish, and so buoyant right now that i probably couldn't drown if i tried. As it turned out, freestyle and breaststroke did not bother me at all, backstroke seemed to require too much kicking than is really advisable at the moment, and when i was doing the sidestroke with that leg on top, it was the most likely to get irritated.
i'm still not quite sure how to describe the injury. It was kind of like cramping with almost every step. Now it only bothers me when i try to stretch it or if i land with too much impact. Tomorrow i am going to tentatively try the elliptical trainer, but i don't think i'll be hitting the track for at least another week, and at this point in my recovery i definitely need to stretch it gradually, as my usual flexibility is lacking. After weighing in today, i tried to do the Sun Salute. Reaching up and back did not bother me at all, but when i went down to touch my toes, i couldn't reach as far as usual, and it didn't feel good. i'm thinking that i should stretch every day and maybe work on the Plank if that doesn't hurt too much. i doubt i could do Downward Facing Dog right now.
In more swimming news, i went to JCPenney and was slightly upset by the selection there. They aren't carrying the brand of swimsuit that i wanted to try on in Women's sizes here in town (i know that you can order them online), though at least they had some tankinis in that size, and i did in fact confirm that my top is size 22W. i imagine that even if i lose a lot of weight i will not go down below a 18W due to my bust size (if i even go below a 20W!). Their Misses do go up to size 16 (and appear to be the same as a 16W, astonishingly enough), but i wasn't going to try that on as i knew it wouldn't fit. Maybe next summer i can get some new bottoms there?
So i came home and ordered the top i wanted online. i didn't want to pay the shipping and handling, but oh well. Now the big question is whether my injury will keep me from being ready to be in a triathlon in mid-May. i definitely want to be in the Hustle again in mid-June, if nothing else.
In case you're curious:
It's on sale right now, big plus!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Swimsuit Stupidity
So, now that my tax return should be going into my account soon, i'm actually starting to feel as if maybe i can continue my triathlon training. i'm not rich, by any stretch, but i am richer than i thought i would be. Which turned my mind to a new swimsuit.
Here's the long and the short of it: i've had my current top two seasons and my current bottoms i bought when starting to train because my guys swimtrunks were fine for leisure swimming but not training. i wear size 22W on top and size 18W on bottom (maybe 16W by the time i buy new bottoms). One piece suits never fit me. If they fit me on bottom, i can't get them over my breasts. If they fit on top, the bottom is baggy. And inevitably they are too short: i don't think i'm long waisted or torsoed or whatever you would call it, but they never fit. i can't wear underwire (they're never wide enough for my large frame) and hate bulky padded cup (the goal is speed here, not padding my DDDs!). And if it's a scoop back, the straps usually feel like they're going to fall forward off my shoulders. i haven't found a one piece that could fit since about the time my bust went up to 40D, and that was quite a while ago.
So i'm looking for a tankini. Apparently, this is too much to ask. Tyr and Speedo don't make them large enough for me, and pickings are slim as it is (i would really love a Tyr Tri Tank, as i loved my Tyr swimteam suit, but too expensive and not in my size does not a happy swimmer make). Most tankinis out there do not provide coverage for my chest. For some reason, manufacturers seem to think that even full figured women want their breasts hanging out all over the place.
So this begs the question... Why would i pay $15-95 on any suit that doesn't fit? How am i meant to get fit if i cannot clothe myself to exercise? After i have become fit, why on earth would i willingly pay for a suit from a brand that is too stupid to make me a suit in my present size? Why should i provide them with my valuable patronage? If they are actually capitalists and trying to make a profit, then why on earth do they refuse to make a product that the public can actually wear when they are healthy or endeavoring to live in a healthful manner (and no, underweight athletes and anorexic people do not count and never will, shame on them for endorsing such unhealthy lifestyles).
i don't know how to continue training for triathlons because i cannot find any gear to fit me even if i do pay $50-100, and i really don't want to pay that much. Zoot isn't even making 2X tri tops anymore!
Stupid stupid stupid. If everyone is overweight, as the media is telling us, then these people need to get with the program and actually offer us merchandise we can use. And i am so mad at Danskin right now because they keep letting me down: i do not want to wear pink, either. i'm not five and i don't have breast cancer. Please provide grown up colors, and black is too hot and not technically a color. Grr.
Here's the long and the short of it: i've had my current top two seasons and my current bottoms i bought when starting to train because my guys swimtrunks were fine for leisure swimming but not training. i wear size 22W on top and size 18W on bottom (maybe 16W by the time i buy new bottoms). One piece suits never fit me. If they fit me on bottom, i can't get them over my breasts. If they fit on top, the bottom is baggy. And inevitably they are too short: i don't think i'm long waisted or torsoed or whatever you would call it, but they never fit. i can't wear underwire (they're never wide enough for my large frame) and hate bulky padded cup (the goal is speed here, not padding my DDDs!). And if it's a scoop back, the straps usually feel like they're going to fall forward off my shoulders. i haven't found a one piece that could fit since about the time my bust went up to 40D, and that was quite a while ago.
So i'm looking for a tankini. Apparently, this is too much to ask. Tyr and Speedo don't make them large enough for me, and pickings are slim as it is (i would really love a Tyr Tri Tank, as i loved my Tyr swimteam suit, but too expensive and not in my size does not a happy swimmer make). Most tankinis out there do not provide coverage for my chest. For some reason, manufacturers seem to think that even full figured women want their breasts hanging out all over the place.
So this begs the question... Why would i pay $15-95 on any suit that doesn't fit? How am i meant to get fit if i cannot clothe myself to exercise? After i have become fit, why on earth would i willingly pay for a suit from a brand that is too stupid to make me a suit in my present size? Why should i provide them with my valuable patronage? If they are actually capitalists and trying to make a profit, then why on earth do they refuse to make a product that the public can actually wear when they are healthy or endeavoring to live in a healthful manner (and no, underweight athletes and anorexic people do not count and never will, shame on them for endorsing such unhealthy lifestyles).
i don't know how to continue training for triathlons because i cannot find any gear to fit me even if i do pay $50-100, and i really don't want to pay that much. Zoot isn't even making 2X tri tops anymore!
Stupid stupid stupid. If everyone is overweight, as the media is telling us, then these people need to get with the program and actually offer us merchandise we can use. And i am so mad at Danskin right now because they keep letting me down: i do not want to wear pink, either. i'm not five and i don't have breast cancer. Please provide grown up colors, and black is too hot and not technically a color. Grr.
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