a slightly more rational update

While the previous post was about my spiritual condition, some may find it depressing to wade through, so i will spare you of that necessity. So here is the happy face, which is indeed genuine enough. The abbreviated version is that:

i'm not going to Full Sail because of financial aid issues.

Megan has offered her spare room to me.

There is a cheaper film school in Colorado with an accelerated degree that lasts less than a year which--though it might not be as promising as Full Sail--is a possibility and i am looking into it.

i think that for now i will focus on staying with Megan while she is living alone. i gave notice at work even when it seemed evident that Full Sail was a no go because i cannot support myself on minimum wage (even when working overtime), there is no way that i can attend school and work, and they would not give me vacation time during July because it's Sweeps (ratings). i work hard and try not to complain, but it is unreasonable for TPTB to be hiring new employees at a starting wage that's higher than mine, and refuse to give me time off when the MCO who works the morning shift takes a week off at a time every other month (albeit not during sweeps, but how am i supposed to have time off if he already does?).

So i suppose i will work for a while in Savannah. i won't be near my parents or siblings but i will be near my sister, niece, and nephew. i won't be going to film school right away probably, but i haven't given up on it entirely. And there's always American Idol (third intent to go to auditions is a charm?)... seriously, that was always in the back of my mind as a possibility if Full Sail fell through, because i know that i can't do both. So get some normal sleep, try to lose weight again, try to figure out what God wants...

i'm not really upset about not going to Florida anymore, i was invested in it, but i always knew that there was the possibility that it wouldn't work out. The past weekend was a chance to take a step back and let go: i meant to clean the trailer and start packing but things didn't work out that way. i vegged out and recuperated and thought through some stuff, and nothing's really final yet, just probable. A lot can happen in four weeks.

Right now i want to have time to read, create art, socialize, spend time with my family, and figure out what God wants me to do. Maybe i'll start an online business or write a book or something, but i'm just trying to be open to what God wants me to do.