On Tuesday morning when i got home from work i found Oreo laying in the living room in an awkward and unusual position. As soon as he heard me he started meowing loudly and with distress. i could see that he was hurting and/or scared and called Mom to let her know that i thought that the cat needed to be put down. She called Grandma for me.
We had been expecting this for a while. Oreo was very old and ever since Christmas he went to being very fat to having skin hanging off him. His fur still looked healthy but for the past month i haven't been able to discern that he was eating at all. i put down bacon and salmon for him (once each, a week apart) and as far as i could tell he didn't eat any of either (the smell of the fish in particular usually brought him running into the room as soon as the can was open). On Sunday afternoon i let him visit me in my room, which was a rarity, it was only the second time he'd been on my bed. The first two times he tried to jump up he missed, he didn't make it up, which i thought was odd but didn't think about since he seemed perfectly normal. He was demanding attention for a while and then took a nap. On Monday he was hiding out per usual, mostly napping, but didn't even pay attention to me.
But on Tuesday morning i could tell that the time was upon him. His body was rigid, particularly his back legs, which he couldn't seem to move. His tail was limp. His front legs were weak, but he could push himself up with a lot of effort. His body seemed to be twisted and frozen in an uncomfortable position. i didn't know if i should pick him up or try to move him. He meowed a lot more if i left him alone or picked him up. His mouth was dry, his breath smelled awful, and he had a weird mucous on his lips. At one point i tried taking him to his water dish but he didn't seem interested in trying to drink and seemed more upset on the tile floor than on the carpet, so i took him back to the living room. i also noticed that his eyes were cloudy and dialated and was pretty sure that he had gone blind. All i could do was sit next to him and cradle his head and touch his front paws (he kneaded against me like a kitten), everything else seemed to distress him, even normal petting.
i was crying a lot. i couldn't stop thinking about watching him be born. i never really got over how much Oreo changed when he started living with Grandma and Grandad. i never hated him, but he was mean for a long time, he wouldn't let me love him. It's only been the past nine months that he's had anything to do with me. And he was in pain, and scared, and i couldn't do anything about it except take him to die.
Mom brought me a check for the vet and i drove him to the hospital. He was very upset during the car ride. i think he's always hated cars, but i also put him in his box and he wanted me to hold him and pet him and i had to drive. i walked in and there was no one else in the waiting room, there was two receptionists that i spoke to and helped me fill out paperwork. A cat jumped up on the counter and was curious about who was in the box. They asked me if i wanted to stay with him, and i said yes, because i did not feel right about just leaving him there when he obviously wanted me with him and had been waiting for me to come home for who knows how long. We talked about whether we wanted to bury him ourselves, or pay them to put him in a general grave, or they could cremate him and give us the ashes (which costs a wopping $75 and change). Having them bury him was the cheapest and easiest option.
i was ushered into an exam room and three people came in: the doctor, a nurse, and someone else who just watched. He (the doctor) talked to me about Oreo's symptoms and looked at him a little bit and explained that they would basically be giving him an overdose of a sedative. He said that as far as they knew it was painless and he would just fall asleep, then die. i said i understood, and i did, i had already known this. The nurse was there to held him down if he struggled, but he was too weak really, so she mostly pet him. The doctor had trouble finding a vein and kept switching legs, but he was already really bad and didn't have much circulation. The nurse said that normally he would be fighting and not like what was going on at all and that he probably would have died pretty soon had i not brought him in. The doctor asked if Oreo was a friendly cat and the nurse and i got a good chuckle out of that (the obvious answer being no). We then talked about Oreo's health declining and the doctor said his symptoms were indicative of diabetes, which was common for a cat his age, and i said that i thought that might have been the case. Somewhere in here i started crying again and we talked about how much of a grump he was.
They finally got a little in him and i could tell right away that he was more comfortable. He stopped fighting, and might have been asleep by then, but he never closed his eyes. The doctor said that he was feeling better but they would have to put it in his heart because his circulation was so bad. The man gave me a tissue and left, the nurse brought more of the drugs and left, and the doctor and me were with Oreo as he died. The doctor had to inject him in his heart twice, but he was alive for quite a while, just breathing peacefully. i kept petting him even though i knew he was probably unconscious and unaware. i could feel his breath on my hand because i was also cupping his face. And then he stopped breathing, and the doctor listened for a heartbeat, and said he was gone. He asked me if i needed time alone with him to say goodbye, and i said no, i had already talked to him before i brought him in. He wrapped him in the towel we had laid him on, and i pet him one last time, and then walked away.
Time had seemed to drag on, but the time from when i found him until when he died actually only took about an hour. i didn't cry for very long after he died, and was sad but relieved at the same time. It's still weird not having him around when i come home or am doing things around the house. It's weird, but i actually miss him.
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