Since the end of October and the election that screams "voter fraud" and "voter box hacking" there has been a lot that i've wanted to say. Unfortunately i work two jobs and it takes a migraine to get me to rest. I survived Christmas but my thoughts never made it from my brain to a computer screen through my fingers until now.
There is something rotten in the state of the United States of America. I have been living with hope that things would change in 2013, but now i know that the fight has only just begun. Something needs to change, and part of that something is me. I've been hiding and waiting as much as possible, licking my wounds and biding my time. I've been doing it for fourteen years and it's time for it to stop. It doesn't matter if i ever feel the Holy Spirit again, what does matter is if i fail to serve Him. I'm not a journalist, i have a bias, and i am tired of being silent. So my first resolution for 2013 is to write more. I am struggling when trying to write fiction, i don't know if i can ever recover what i lost during the time i had Bell's Palsy. But i will persevere and maybe someday the words will reconnect with their definitions and i can reach my creative urges outside of the dreamscape. In the meantime i hope to blog with new purpose and stand for truth even if it is too late to make a difference.
Two of my causes are not really my own. Right now it looks like freedom of education and freedom of medical choice are in jeopardy. I'm still considering becoming a doula...or even a midwife. Even if i never get married or have children i still think that a woman's reproductive rights are important. The way i see it, there are forces in the world that are doing everything they can to make it easier to get rid of "unwanted" children and harder to have wanted children. Furthermore, this election's results, whether they are legitimate or not, are very much a result of the mainstream media's failure to report important things and government schools' success in brainwashing America's children. My life is always going to be dedicated to strengthening education and birth rights. To both of these ends we need to make stronger families. I'm not a wife but i am part of a large family that's hurting right now. I don't know what i can do but i will be praying if nothing else.
This year i am going to take the plunge and go back to being barefoot. As a child i was barefoot as much as possible. Summers in Arizona i would go barefoot more than you might imagine, goatheads being more painful than hot asphalt to be honest. My feet are starting to get stronger even as they are starting to show the effects of being stuffed in shoes for far too long. Right now i am reading The Barefoot Book by Daniel Howell, Ph.D., and i highly recommend it. So in 2013 i am going to continue to wear Vibrams, flipflops, and Sanuks as much as possible...but i am considering going so far as going barefoot in public someday. It is perfectly legal, it might surprise you to know. My feet aren't ready for that yet, but they are stronger than they used to be. Right now i will continue to strengthen my toes and lengthen my achilles tendons. Hopefully there's also a way for me to strengthen my arches.
For the first time ever i intend to plant a garden. It will have to be in containers because the land here is horrible for growing anything edible, salty high desert. I might kill more than i harvest but i'm going to try to grow things. I'm also going to try to shop for organics and non-GMO items more often. And become more educated about food in general.
Lastly, i intend to arm myself and take a conceal carry course even if i cannot obtain a permit. I was taught how to shoot from a young age and have always been afraid of guns. I want to conquer that fear in order to defend myself and my family. At one time i wanted to serve in the military, but that was never possible because of my weight. I still want to hone the skills my father gave me and acquire new ones.
There are, or course, other things that i want to accomplish this year, but these are the main ones. I still dream of learning how to play the drums or a stringed instrument, for example. And another triathlon, a better job, are also goals that i am pursuing as much as personally possible. I have recently lost some weight, amazingly enough, but am also trying to embrace my more to love beauty more than ever before.
I hope all of my readers (whomever you may be) had a happy Christmas season and will be even more blessed in the new year.
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