i don't usually do New Year's resolutions. My general mentality is that if something in your life is worth changing, there's no point in holding off for the new year to come around. However, this year, i am ever increasingly mindful of the fact that i am still single and the big 30 is just around the corner. i know, i'm only 27, and i have three years left, but what if i'm never married? Am i always going to be waiting to try things after i'm married? Is everything important going to be forever delegated to the realm of "once i get my own place"? i don't know if i will ever be able to afford my own home, not when i have dead end jobs now and student loans to pay after i graduate (hopefully in May 2010). i can't keep waiting for my life to begin, yet that's all i have been doing for as long as i can remember. It's time for something to change, to get to my goal #15 at 43 Things - stop procrastinating and get organized!. So, in this vein, i actually have some New Year's resolutions to make.
1 - get rid of clutter and get organized
i know this will not be cheap, to get storage in the form of Rubbermaids or baskets, but it needs to be done. Cardboard boxes that are falling apart are cluttering up my walkways; they aren't pleasant to look at or trip over. i have too much stuff, i want to simplify, and working at a place like Hobby Lobby it has become painfully obvious to me how much money people spend on junk that they really don't need. Sure, sometimes the junk is pretty (sometimes it's soooo not), but it's still not necessary. i live in a really small space, i don't need to fill it with things that i don't need anymore, and i don't want my space to be a mess.
2 - live conscientiously
Okay, part of my problem with fulfilling resolution #1 is where am i going to find the time? In a couple of weeks i'll be going to school full time, and i may have a part time job at the same time. i'm not even sure i can handle that workload, let alone feel like i have a life or have time for relaxation. The trouble is that when i get home i am exhausted and want nothing more than to fall into bed and play WoW or watch a tv show/movie, etc. There's not necessarily anything wrong with those things, but it contributes to my mess when all i do is toss stuff down anywhere. When clothes come out of the dryer, i need to fold them and put them away immediately. When i drop something, i need to pick it up. Everything needs to have a place and i need to put it there so i can find it, not lose it or damage it. So no more letting things slide because i'm tired (/sigh).
But there's other aspects to this goal, as well. i'm going to be talking about them a lot in this blog. For one thing, i'm sick of just following everyone else and not thinking through my actions. Do i really need to be bringing home/using plastic bags? Should i be drinking water out of little plastic bottles? i want to start conserving and Re-Using, and there's no point in putting it off any longer.
3 - live healthy... and hopefully lose weight
i.e. ban high fructose corn syrup from my diet (this means Coca-Cola, among other things) and cut back my portions and intake of unhealthy foods (such as those that are fatty, fried, and meat, which i eat entirely too much of ). For the past couple of weeks i've been eating fast food nearly every time i go to work, gradually gaining back the ten pounds i lost when running three times a week this fall. i need to lose weight, perhaps not to get a perfect body, but to at least get below 200 pounds. But even if i don't see results--ever--i still need to keep running, keep moving, keep making smart choices for my body. It would be easy to just give up, keep drinking Coke every day of my life, but i'm not going to do that. Just because i feel like a failure when it comes to my body doesn't make i can give up.
4 - conquer my brown/black thumb and replace it with a green one
Growing my own food is something i've been wanting to try for a couple of years and would be healthier than always buying from the grocery store. i'm not sure i can compost here, because my dad feeds everything to the chickens and goats, but that is a goal that i have for the future.
i guess that's all i can think of right now, but this is all a work in progress. i'm sooo tired right now, i have many ideas floating around my head and even crammed in the back of my brain, but this is my beginning. Lets see where it goes from here....
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Give me your tired...
i'm doing research on Lady Liberty depicted in art (no, not the Statue of Liberty, though she's rather hard to avoid, she really lacks most of the iconography of Liberty) and decided to look up that famous poem, written by none other than Emma Lazarus. It was quite a shock for me to discover... she was a Marxist. Does anyone else find that ironic?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
wow lol
The computer lab is really empty compared to on Tuesday when i was writing my paper on Hamlet.
i just tinkered with my schedule for the spring, and i'm a lot happier with what i got now. i dropped the required "Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism" to take the prereq "Introduction to Creative Writing" with the teacher i took "Children's Literature" with this semester (both Lit. Theory and Creative Writing are required for my major, but i really need to get CW out of the way so i can take my other creative writing courses and i would rather take another class with this teacher than have it as a night course as was on my former schedule). i picked up "British Romanticism" as my fourth class, it will fulfill a requirement for "Later Literature" (Shakespeare fulfills the requirement for "Early Literature"), hopefully i enjoy that. So basically, as i recall, i'm going to need:
Anyways, i'm going to post some stuff that i meant to do weeks ago, that i never had the time or got around to commenting on the way i wanted to so i didn't publish it. Enjoy.
i just tinkered with my schedule for the spring, and i'm a lot happier with what i got now. i dropped the required "Introduction to Literary Theory and Criticism" to take the prereq "Introduction to Creative Writing" with the teacher i took "Children's Literature" with this semester (both Lit. Theory and Creative Writing are required for my major, but i really need to get CW out of the way so i can take my other creative writing courses and i would rather take another class with this teacher than have it as a night course as was on my former schedule). i picked up "British Romanticism" as my fourth class, it will fulfill a requirement for "Later Literature" (Shakespeare fulfills the requirement for "Early Literature"), hopefully i enjoy that. So basically, as i recall, i'm going to need:
History of Literary Criticism same class as above, ENGL 421and two writing courses: i'll probably choose
Senior Seminar in Literature
Roots of Modern Rhetoric
Seminar in Writing
Creative Writing: Fictioni might need a couple more electives, but i think i'm done. My biggest worry is pulling my gpa back up, but i think that this semester will help with that simply because i retook two courses that i flunked out of while attempting to work full time at KJCT and go to school full time (which so doesn't work). In fact, the teacher i originally took Brit Lit from is who i'm going to be taking Brit. Romance from (i wonder if she'll remember me), i really hated to stop attending that class but i simply could not stay awake. If all else fails i'll retake some of the other classes that i failed / withdrew from. i don't need them after all, but i do need a higher gpa as i get into my upper lvl courses. Hopefully i don't need to do that, because i'd really like to be able to finish my degree in a year.
Creative Writing: Character and Narrative
Anyways, i'm going to post some stuff that i meant to do weeks ago, that i never had the time or got around to commenting on the way i wanted to so i didn't publish it. Enjoy.
Re: a Modern Modest Proposal and the end of term
Okay, so, when we were reading a Modest Proposal and discussing it in class, i really felt physically sick. It was a relief to know that the essay was satirical and meant to prove a point. Well it got me thinking, how different is his opinion compared to abortion today? And i really wanted to write about that, it took hold of me and wouldn't let go, but it's not quite what came out. i know that my professor is going to hate this, i used the first personal "I" repeatedly, but of course that's what Swift did and i was really trying to follow his style while making it more modern. If this was my American Lit final, i'm sure that professor would love it, this is just the kind of assignment she appreciates, but as it is, i'm not sure how well this will go over.
Writing this was making me laugh my head off, i definitely enjoyed it, especially with all the stupid newspaper quotes making it more over the top. The first section is actually based on several documentaries that i have seen on PBS as well as articles that i have read over the years, of course i don't really have the means of citing those, though i did find an article referring to the documentary about the TB doctor (i'm pretty sure it's the same one).
Ugh, i probably shouldn't have written this as a final, but i'm not ashamed of writing it at the same time, and am way to far gone to care at this point. A couple of weeks ago i was wondering how i would even get up the resolve to keep going to class, let alone write anything. i'm doing a lot better now, am enjoying my new job even though i dread going to it every day because it means less time to write and relax. i am sooooo relieved that the semester is over, but at least i have accomplished something, as long as i pass my classes i am happy, i really do not care about getting A's at this point. Anyways, i'm making more plans for selling stuff on Etsy, using my new employee discount and the two months i have before classes resume. i also have a couple of story ideas floating around my head that will require research, but i am hopeful that at least one of these might come to fruition during the Christmas break. Maybe i could actually write something worth trying to get published for a change, fancy that.
On another note, my U.S. Lit final paper yielded a B, though she wasn't really appreciative of what i wrote. She doesn't like my rhymes, but then neither do i (this is why i don't write poetry anymore). My one stream of consciousness poem is laden with depression, but it felt so good to get it off my chest, and i actually wrote the rough draft of it in one of the final classes we had (a week before the paper was due as i recall). Unfortunately i didn't get around to writing anything that sounded Whitman enough for her (i personally think that my #5 sounds very Song of Myself #1, but whatever), the stinking paper wasn't really finished (even though i only needed 5 pages and wrote 11) and now i don't know if i have the strength or initiative to complete it. My poetry really isn't that great. i'm not going to share it here, i might put some of it on DeviantArt or my LiveJournal
Anyway, i took my finals, i turned in all my papers, hopefully i'll discover what my grades are by Christmas. Of course, two of my classes had the same teacher, and she takes forever to grade papers, so i'm not going to be holding my breath.
Writing this was making me laugh my head off, i definitely enjoyed it, especially with all the stupid newspaper quotes making it more over the top. The first section is actually based on several documentaries that i have seen on PBS as well as articles that i have read over the years, of course i don't really have the means of citing those, though i did find an article referring to the documentary about the TB doctor (i'm pretty sure it's the same one).
Ugh, i probably shouldn't have written this as a final, but i'm not ashamed of writing it at the same time, and am way to far gone to care at this point. A couple of weeks ago i was wondering how i would even get up the resolve to keep going to class, let alone write anything. i'm doing a lot better now, am enjoying my new job even though i dread going to it every day because it means less time to write and relax. i am sooooo relieved that the semester is over, but at least i have accomplished something, as long as i pass my classes i am happy, i really do not care about getting A's at this point. Anyways, i'm making more plans for selling stuff on Etsy, using my new employee discount and the two months i have before classes resume. i also have a couple of story ideas floating around my head that will require research, but i am hopeful that at least one of these might come to fruition during the Christmas break. Maybe i could actually write something worth trying to get published for a change, fancy that.
On another note, my U.S. Lit final paper yielded a B, though she wasn't really appreciative of what i wrote. She doesn't like my rhymes, but then neither do i (this is why i don't write poetry anymore). My one stream of consciousness poem is laden with depression, but it felt so good to get it off my chest, and i actually wrote the rough draft of it in one of the final classes we had (a week before the paper was due as i recall). Unfortunately i didn't get around to writing anything that sounded Whitman enough for her (i personally think that my #5 sounds very Song of Myself #1, but whatever), the stinking paper wasn't really finished (even though i only needed 5 pages and wrote 11) and now i don't know if i have the strength or initiative to complete it. My poetry really isn't that great. i'm not going to share it here, i might put some of it on DeviantArt or my LiveJournal
Anyway, i took my finals, i turned in all my papers, hopefully i'll discover what my grades are by Christmas. Of course, two of my classes had the same teacher, and she takes forever to grade papers, so i'm not going to be holding my breath.
A Modern Modest Proposal (for Brit Lit)
It is disheartening to see on television the images of impoverished children in Africa, stomachs bloated with hunger, skin stretched over-obvious ribs. So many of these children are orphaned by starvation and AIDS, and live without shoes or proper clothing, they have no money or food to support themselves; as a result, older sisters find themselves caring for siblings as if they were their own, are forced to prostitute themselves out for a bit of money or bread (Falconberg par. 12), and are inevitably infected with the AIDS virus themselves--because their customers believe that condoms are, in fact, the source of the AIDS infection (Nigeria par. 19)--eventually dying and leaving their younger siblings even worse off than ever before. I think everyone would agree that these children need food, shelter, medical care, clothing, and and education in order to better their situation. It is no wonder that so many African governments are in a constant state of war, with their citizens unable to resist whatever form of government is trying to usurp power, when the are too ignorant and weak to stand up for themselves or take up arms. If anyone could discover a way to rectify these ills, they would fully deserve the many monuments that would inevitably be erected in his or her honor, not to mention the thanks of an eternally grateful and happier society.
Of course, the problems in Africa are only the beginning of what I hope to find a solution for; there are much greater problems, such as the fact that the amount of charity that is being sent into those countries simply is not enough, and it does not enable these people to support themselves, what with the diamond trade being built on virtual slave labor, and all the profits being sent out of the continent, and all the oil going to countries such as the United States, where all the Americans are too niggardly to pay more than two dollars for a gallon of gas without complaining, let alone four or five.
Africa is also not the only continent that is experiencing problems, it is often just the most obvious one. In South American there are huge ghettos where the population cannot support themselves and live in boxes with only soccer balls to amuse themselves. Their problem disease is not AIDS, but Tuberculosis, which has formed several virulant strains that are resistant to most antibiotics (Global par. 7). Worst of all, farmers are using slash-and burn tactics to clear rain forest; "every year, another chunk of forest the size of Connecticut or larger disappears" (Chang par.10). The farmers grow soy to export to vegetarians (Fan par. 2) or coca for the drug cartels to convert into cocaine and sell (Blair par. 1), ranchers clear land to feed their cattle, and after a few years the soil is worthless (Fan par. 2). Francisco Santos Calderon, the vice-president of Colombia, predicts that within five years the cocain industry will have spread to West Africa (Blair par. 8). Brazil has become the fourth largest source of greenhouse gases in the world (Chang par. 4), and "deforestation picked up 10%" in 2007 (Fan par 1). Scientists say: "Keeping greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere has become crucial to saving the planet from catastrophic climate change" (Chang par. 6).
For my part, i have given great thought to this important subject despite the fact that my years are few. I have weighed several options and found that most so-called solutions are completely absurd and display gross ignorance on the part of their progenitors. All of this begging and prostitution is not helping anyone besides perverts, and there simply is not enough aid being sent to help these poor souls. It is also helpful to the issues the world faces of overpopulation, what with these women refusing to use birth control and bringing more children into the world, which only adds to the problem. These poor innocent children live a life filled with misery that it is torturous and cruel to even consider conceiving more children under current conditions: it is so horrible that it surely can move even the most apathetic to tears.
The number of obese individuals in the world has reached epidemic proportions: "more than one billion adults in the world are overweight and at least 400 million of them are obese," and those numbers are expected to double by 2015 (Paglinawan par. 3). The number of obese people has tripled in the past two decades (par. 4), revealing a startling lack of willpower on the part of most of Earth's citizens. It is obvious that only people who have too much and exercise too little are causing their own health problems and depriving the rest of the world (par. 12). Under the current state of affairs, it is utterly impossible for these situations to be bettered.
"I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection" (Swift ). Fortunately, the solution is incredibly simple: it is time for the fat citizens of Earth to start to follow Christian Bale's diet (Elliot par. 5-6) by eating far less than what they already do but taking vitamins in order to remain healthy. The amount of money that overweight individuals formerly spent on food will be garnished from their wages and used to instead feed the starved individuals that live abroad. There can be no real objection to this since everyone already wants to help the impoverished and no one wants to be fat to begin with. Since these individuals have such slight willpower, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, the new world order that will inevitably come about to enact these changes will take the temptation to overindulge out of the hands of its citizens.
I humbly propose that, since these uncontrolled pigs care so little about their own health, they will also be denied medical care until they reach an appropriate weight, and the funds that previously went towards their health coverage will instead provide for the medical needs of those infected with AIDS and TB, along with finding cures for said diseases. By the time the greedy guts have reached an acceptable weight, these goals will surely have been met, and everyone will be healthier, therefore requiring less healthcare, so everyone will receive equal amounts of more efficient care at a lower price.
Because obesity is also caused by the "more sedentary lifestyle brought about by advancements in technology" (par. 12), the amount of time spent seated or at a computer should also be limited to a slight number of hours day, unless the person using said electronic device is powering it via use of a treadmill or stationary bicycle. If the citizens of Africa can live in this manner, surely the rest of the world can adapt to a similar lifestyle. In order to protect the environment, motor vehicles will only be used in extreme emergencies, as deemed necessary by the government, while mass transit, manual self propulsion, and bicycling will become the only accepted forms of transportation. Telecommuting would also be a more efficient means of doing business.
To solve the food problems in South America, it is best to destroy the demand for the environmentally harmful foodstuffs: ban soy (no one actually likes it) and beef (it is too fatty to be included in a healthy diet). If there is still not enough food to go around, stage two of the plan should be to follow China's example and limit every couple to only one child. Sterilization is the easiest way to ensure that this directive is followed: after each woman has had her baby, the doctor can easily tie her tubes, particularly if the medical establishment continues to phase out vaginal deliveries in favor of conveniently scheduled elective caesarean sections. Like circumcision in decades past, vasectomies can also be pushed on men as a healthy lifestyle choice because sperm is dirty, or causes cancer, some other such spin. While they are at it, doctors can push needless vaccinations on middle school girls that have a good chance of rendering them sterile, effectively ensuring "One Less" child to worry about being born and using up valuable resources.
In order to thwart the subversive drug cartels the world's governments should legalize cocaine and sell it really cheap, taxing it heavily of course, and completely undermining the previous corner on the market. The only reason demand is so high is because it is so hard to get good crack at a decent price, what with having to worry about possible informants and getting arrested. Every American knows that prohibition did not work with alcohol, so there is no reason to think that it should work for drugs: the war is lost unless the world's governments see reason and take action soon. The framework for a new world government is already in place with the United Nations, and all of these proposals already fit in with their objectives, so I see no real reason why this plan could not be put into effect quite quickly.
I think the advantages of my plan are obvious, but I will outline them anyway. First, world hunger will be solved, and women will no longer get weepy over images of starving children, nor will people have to feel obligated to send money (the government will fulfill that obligation for them) or be too selfish to do their part (again, the government will be redistributing the weatlh, taking the responsibility out of their hands, which will be a welcome relief for everyone).
Secondly, the world will have cured AIDS, which will make everyone interested in pop culture really excited... though perhaps upset that their red t-shirts and cell phones are now extraneous. No matter, all the funding that was being diverted to AIDS research can now move on to cancer or Parkinsons or paralysis, etc., whatever new cause that celebrities take up next.
Thirdly, because the depressed obese will have shed all those unwanted pounds, everyone will look really, really hot, so everyone will be happier. There will be fewer suicides, less stress, and medical costs will be lower because everyone will be healthier. Diabetes, thyroid disorders, heart disease, high blood pressure, will all be a thing of the past. Plastic surgeons should be doing well for a while, as well, with all the tummy tucks and boob jobs that everyone will be wanting to get; after all, the formerly obese will have to get rid of the unwanted skin somehow.
Fourthly, this plan is extremely good for the environment. The Amazon Rain Forest will recover. The world economy will no longer be dependent on its obsessive need for oil, nor will SUVs be polluting the air we breathe. The Ozone Layer will be replenished and we will have finally saved the Penguins, Polar Bears, Whales, you get the idea.
I could go on, and list other advantages, but I am certain that is really unnecessary. I have no wish to be long winded, I am not describing these strategies for any glory of my own, I am really just concerned about solving the problems we face and the welfare of everyone involved. I really cannot think of any valid objections to this proposal, indeed there can be none, and I am tired of hearing people debate needlessly. I will not profit from this venture any more than my common man, let me assure you. I am confident that those who read this will see reason, and,very soon we will all be living in harmony and no longer have any great cares to darken our day.
Works Cited
Blair, David. "Colombian Drug Cartels Blamed for the Destruction of Rainforest." The Daily Telegraph. 23 May 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Chang, Jack. "As Brazil's rain forest burns down, planet heats up." McClatchy Washington Bureau. 8 Sept. 2007. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/19533.html>
Elliot, Jessica. "Christian Bale's Weight Loss for The Machinist: This Dedicated Actor Lost a Whapping [sic] 63 Pounds to Play the Lead in This Movie." Associated Content. 23 Aug. 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/53457/christian_bales_weight_loss_for_the.html?cat=40>
Falconberg, Suki. "Prostitution and AIDS." American Chronicle. 4 November 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/15980>
Fan, Grace. "Global Leaders Must Fight Fire with Fire as Amazon Burns." The Business. 19 Jan. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
"Global Health Champions: Jim Yong Kim." Rx for Survival. Mar. 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/rxforsurvival/series/champions/jim_yong_kim.html>
"Nigeria; HIV/Aids: the Lethal March of a Plague." Africa News. 6 Dec. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Paglinawan, Adriel M.and Rima Jessamine M. Granali. "Special Feature: Health Guide; A Global Crisis." BusinessWorld. 30 Apr. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Of course, the problems in Africa are only the beginning of what I hope to find a solution for; there are much greater problems, such as the fact that the amount of charity that is being sent into those countries simply is not enough, and it does not enable these people to support themselves, what with the diamond trade being built on virtual slave labor, and all the profits being sent out of the continent, and all the oil going to countries such as the United States, where all the Americans are too niggardly to pay more than two dollars for a gallon of gas without complaining, let alone four or five.
Africa is also not the only continent that is experiencing problems, it is often just the most obvious one. In South American there are huge ghettos where the population cannot support themselves and live in boxes with only soccer balls to amuse themselves. Their problem disease is not AIDS, but Tuberculosis, which has formed several virulant strains that are resistant to most antibiotics (Global par. 7). Worst of all, farmers are using slash-and burn tactics to clear rain forest; "every year, another chunk of forest the size of Connecticut or larger disappears" (Chang par.10). The farmers grow soy to export to vegetarians (Fan par. 2) or coca for the drug cartels to convert into cocaine and sell (Blair par. 1), ranchers clear land to feed their cattle, and after a few years the soil is worthless (Fan par. 2). Francisco Santos Calderon, the vice-president of Colombia, predicts that within five years the cocain industry will have spread to West Africa (Blair par. 8). Brazil has become the fourth largest source of greenhouse gases in the world (Chang par. 4), and "deforestation picked up 10%" in 2007 (Fan par 1). Scientists say: "Keeping greenhouse gases out of the atmosphere has become crucial to saving the planet from catastrophic climate change" (Chang par. 6).
For my part, i have given great thought to this important subject despite the fact that my years are few. I have weighed several options and found that most so-called solutions are completely absurd and display gross ignorance on the part of their progenitors. All of this begging and prostitution is not helping anyone besides perverts, and there simply is not enough aid being sent to help these poor souls. It is also helpful to the issues the world faces of overpopulation, what with these women refusing to use birth control and bringing more children into the world, which only adds to the problem. These poor innocent children live a life filled with misery that it is torturous and cruel to even consider conceiving more children under current conditions: it is so horrible that it surely can move even the most apathetic to tears.
The number of obese individuals in the world has reached epidemic proportions: "more than one billion adults in the world are overweight and at least 400 million of them are obese," and those numbers are expected to double by 2015 (Paglinawan par. 3). The number of obese people has tripled in the past two decades (par. 4), revealing a startling lack of willpower on the part of most of Earth's citizens. It is obvious that only people who have too much and exercise too little are causing their own health problems and depriving the rest of the world (par. 12). Under the current state of affairs, it is utterly impossible for these situations to be bettered.
"I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection" (Swift ). Fortunately, the solution is incredibly simple: it is time for the fat citizens of Earth to start to follow Christian Bale's diet (Elliot par. 5-6) by eating far less than what they already do but taking vitamins in order to remain healthy. The amount of money that overweight individuals formerly spent on food will be garnished from their wages and used to instead feed the starved individuals that live abroad. There can be no real objection to this since everyone already wants to help the impoverished and no one wants to be fat to begin with. Since these individuals have such slight willpower, and the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, the new world order that will inevitably come about to enact these changes will take the temptation to overindulge out of the hands of its citizens.
I humbly propose that, since these uncontrolled pigs care so little about their own health, they will also be denied medical care until they reach an appropriate weight, and the funds that previously went towards their health coverage will instead provide for the medical needs of those infected with AIDS and TB, along with finding cures for said diseases. By the time the greedy guts have reached an acceptable weight, these goals will surely have been met, and everyone will be healthier, therefore requiring less healthcare, so everyone will receive equal amounts of more efficient care at a lower price.
Because obesity is also caused by the "more sedentary lifestyle brought about by advancements in technology" (par. 12), the amount of time spent seated or at a computer should also be limited to a slight number of hours day, unless the person using said electronic device is powering it via use of a treadmill or stationary bicycle. If the citizens of Africa can live in this manner, surely the rest of the world can adapt to a similar lifestyle. In order to protect the environment, motor vehicles will only be used in extreme emergencies, as deemed necessary by the government, while mass transit, manual self propulsion, and bicycling will become the only accepted forms of transportation. Telecommuting would also be a more efficient means of doing business.
To solve the food problems in South America, it is best to destroy the demand for the environmentally harmful foodstuffs: ban soy (no one actually likes it) and beef (it is too fatty to be included in a healthy diet). If there is still not enough food to go around, stage two of the plan should be to follow China's example and limit every couple to only one child. Sterilization is the easiest way to ensure that this directive is followed: after each woman has had her baby, the doctor can easily tie her tubes, particularly if the medical establishment continues to phase out vaginal deliveries in favor of conveniently scheduled elective caesarean sections. Like circumcision in decades past, vasectomies can also be pushed on men as a healthy lifestyle choice because sperm is dirty, or causes cancer, some other such spin. While they are at it, doctors can push needless vaccinations on middle school girls that have a good chance of rendering them sterile, effectively ensuring "One Less" child to worry about being born and using up valuable resources.
In order to thwart the subversive drug cartels the world's governments should legalize cocaine and sell it really cheap, taxing it heavily of course, and completely undermining the previous corner on the market. The only reason demand is so high is because it is so hard to get good crack at a decent price, what with having to worry about possible informants and getting arrested. Every American knows that prohibition did not work with alcohol, so there is no reason to think that it should work for drugs: the war is lost unless the world's governments see reason and take action soon. The framework for a new world government is already in place with the United Nations, and all of these proposals already fit in with their objectives, so I see no real reason why this plan could not be put into effect quite quickly.
I think the advantages of my plan are obvious, but I will outline them anyway. First, world hunger will be solved, and women will no longer get weepy over images of starving children, nor will people have to feel obligated to send money (the government will fulfill that obligation for them) or be too selfish to do their part (again, the government will be redistributing the weatlh, taking the responsibility out of their hands, which will be a welcome relief for everyone).
Secondly, the world will have cured AIDS, which will make everyone interested in pop culture really excited... though perhaps upset that their red t-shirts and cell phones are now extraneous. No matter, all the funding that was being diverted to AIDS research can now move on to cancer or Parkinsons or paralysis, etc., whatever new cause that celebrities take up next.
Thirdly, because the depressed obese will have shed all those unwanted pounds, everyone will look really, really hot, so everyone will be happier. There will be fewer suicides, less stress, and medical costs will be lower because everyone will be healthier. Diabetes, thyroid disorders, heart disease, high blood pressure, will all be a thing of the past. Plastic surgeons should be doing well for a while, as well, with all the tummy tucks and boob jobs that everyone will be wanting to get; after all, the formerly obese will have to get rid of the unwanted skin somehow.
Fourthly, this plan is extremely good for the environment. The Amazon Rain Forest will recover. The world economy will no longer be dependent on its obsessive need for oil, nor will SUVs be polluting the air we breathe. The Ozone Layer will be replenished and we will have finally saved the Penguins, Polar Bears, Whales, you get the idea.
I could go on, and list other advantages, but I am certain that is really unnecessary. I have no wish to be long winded, I am not describing these strategies for any glory of my own, I am really just concerned about solving the problems we face and the welfare of everyone involved. I really cannot think of any valid objections to this proposal, indeed there can be none, and I am tired of hearing people debate needlessly. I will not profit from this venture any more than my common man, let me assure you. I am confident that those who read this will see reason, and,very soon we will all be living in harmony and no longer have any great cares to darken our day.
Works Cited
Blair, David. "Colombian Drug Cartels Blamed for the Destruction of Rainforest." The Daily Telegraph. 23 May 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Chang, Jack. "As Brazil's rain forest burns down, planet heats up." McClatchy Washington Bureau. 8 Sept. 2007. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.mcclatchydc.com/226/story/19533.html>
Elliot, Jessica. "Christian Bale's Weight Loss for The Machinist: This Dedicated Actor Lost a Whapping [sic] 63 Pounds to Play the Lead in This Movie." Associated Content. 23 Aug. 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/53457/christian_bales_weight_loss_for_the.html?cat=40>
Falconberg, Suki. "Prostitution and AIDS." American Chronicle. 4 November 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/15980>
Fan, Grace. "Global Leaders Must Fight Fire with Fire as Amazon Burns." The Business. 19 Jan. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
"Global Health Champions: Jim Yong Kim." Rx for Survival. Mar. 2006. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/rxforsurvival/series/champions/jim_yong_kim.html>
"Nigeria; HIV/Aids: the Lethal March of a Plague." Africa News. 6 Dec. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Paglinawan, Adriel M.and Rima Jessamine M. Granali. "Special Feature: Health Guide; A Global Crisis." BusinessWorld. 30 Apr. 2008. LexisNexis Academic. Mesa St. Col. Lib., Grand Junction, CO. 10 Dec. 2008. <http://www.lexisnexis.com/us/lnacademic>
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
/yawn
Working on my last paper, stumbled across this:
Why Reuse trumps Recycling and Reduce Trumps 'em Both
Why Reuse trumps Recycling and Reduce Trumps 'em Both
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Revenge and Morality in Hamlet (final for Shakespeare)
Hamlet is, first and foremost, a play about revenge, but modern concepts of revenge and Elizabethan ones are not the same. Today, it is almost universally accepted that revenge, when defined “to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, esp. in a resentful or vindictive spirit” (Revenge)—particularly when it takes the form of an individual taking another’s life in payment for the life that he or she had taken—is a form of murder in itself. The prohibition against revenge was not so straightforward in the past. This essay examines what Elizabethan attitudes towards revenge were, if only certain forms of revenge moral, and whether revenge is moral from a biblical standpoint.
Wilson asserts:
Furthermore, Prosser summarizes that: “the Establishment condemned private revenge, but history denies that its campaign had widespread influence…Far more influential than the orthodox code of the Establishment were two popular codes that placed the demands of revenge above the strictures of religion and law” (4) and “most Elizabethans of all classes, not merely members of the nobility, considered blood revenge justifiable and even obligatory in certain special cases” (17). In this light it seems apparent that no matter how vehemently the Establishment was against revenge, Elizabethans were not so sold on surrendering their propensity to take matters in their own hands, nor would they have overtly disapproved of Hamlet’s actions.
There is still, however, the question of morality. Skulsky defines the “two popular codes” as: “the law of the talon and the code of honor” (78). These codes are not the same and from a modern perspective do not hold the same weight. “What the talon lusts after is nothing less than the total destruction of the hated object and of all that can be identified with it” (78). This is an apt description of Hamlet’s motivation when he states:
Moore takes a very different stance than most modern Christians probably would. He argues that revenge is allowed in Mosaic law, as long as another witness of the crime is available to testify, and that not only would Shakespeare’s audience realize this, but they would expect Horatio to become the second witness (503). This argument seems weak when coupled with the fact that no one actually witnessed Claudius’ crime: we only have the Ghost’s word to go on coupled with Claudius’ reaction to the play. Furthermore, Horatio did not witness Claudius’ confession as Hamlet did.
Moore disagrees with Skulsky about the sins of premeditation and disagrees with the attitude that: “if the avenger fails to kill the slayer at their first meeting, then he has disobeyed God's imperative—or missed his only chance” (502). He also finds it to be a “curious stipulation that the avenger of blood” is expected to “kill the slayer without enmity” (499). His observes “Hamlet's destruction of his old schoolfellows” (503)—when he sends them to their deaths in London—is just another example of the law of the talon seems a little harsh. Though one might suppose that their deaths do seem to be uncalled for, they are no more senseless that Hamlet choosing to damn Claudius’ soul and kill Polonius merely because he was hiding behind a curtain. Not everything in Hamlet makes sense.
Terry also deals with the codes of honor, which she establishes as relying on promise when she quotes Mervyn James: “the importance of ‘promise’ was that this gave the essence of honor, will and intention” (qtd. in Terry 1071). This intention stems from “an internalized concept of what it means to be an honorable man…honor was becoming, by the seventeenth century, a matter of conscience; honorable men needed to seek, in every situation, to behave in such a way to please both their state and their God” (1071). Terry seems to be saying that the old concept of honor was that, if a man gave his word, he had to do what he said he was going to do. This makes sense when one considers Hamlet’s determination to kill Claudius when it seems obvious that revenge is not his normal inclination. Hamlet’s honor being insulted, he immediately vows to revenge his father, just as the Ghost requests, saying: “Haste me to know’t, that I, with wings as swift / As meditation or the thoughts of love, / May sweep to my revenge” (1.5.29-31).
At first glance Hamlet seems to trusts the Ghosts report (1.5.109-111), but Hamlet is far from swift to revenge. Moore notes that “as Elizabethan audiences knew, the testimony of the Ghost may derive from a demon bent on Hamlet's damnation” (503), but does that even matter once Hamlet has given his vow? It seems that Hamlet is bound by the code of honor now; he cannot merely change his mind, no matter how long he grapples with his conscience. Wilson observes of Hamlet: “his inactivity, his inability to perform that on which his mind is set, that which he wills, corresponds with the emotional state in which he seems drained of blood, devoid of all desire save the desire of death, and even unable to accomplish that” (226), seems to be a clear symptom of “melancholy,” something that sounds suspiciously like depression. For most of the play, Hamlet is still paralyzed by the sorrow that his father’s death has brought him, and grapples not with revenge or honor, but with melancholy and death.
In the end, little in Hamlet seems clear cut; it’s all a tangled web of misdirection and indecision that comes to a bloody end. Hamlet gets his damnation of Claudius’ soul, but his own actions possibly damn his own soul in the process. Elizabethans probably would have approved of Hamlet’s actions as well as the questions he was asking. The witness’ question ends up being: does the Law still apply now that Jesus’ death and resurrection has perfected it? Not even Christians can agree on that point, so one can only give an imperfect and personal opinion in response. Personally, the stipulation about enmity makes perfect sense, and Hamlet sinned, but whether he is going to heaven or hell… only God could judge.
Works Cited
Broude, Ronald. "Revenge and Revenge Tragedy in Renaissance England." Renaissance Quarterly. 28.1 (Spring 1975): 38-58. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org:80/stable/2860421>
Moore, Peter R. "Hamlet and the Two Witness Rule." Notes and Queries. 44.4 (Dec 1997): 498-503. Literature Online. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://gateway.proquest.com/openurl?ctx_ver=Z39.88-2003&xri:pqil:res_ver=0.2&res_id=xri:lion-us&rft_id=xri:lion:ft:abell:R01264856:0>
Prosser, Eleanor. Hamlet & Revenge. Stanford, CA: Stanford Univ. Press, 1967.
“Revenge.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 09 Dec. 2008. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/revenge>
Shakespeare, William. Hamlet. New York, NY: Norton, 1963.
Skulsky, Harold. "Revenge, Honor, and Conscience in Hamlet." PMLA. 85.1 (Jan., 1970): 78-87. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 12 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org/stable/1261433>
Terry, Reta A. "'Vows to the Blackest Devil:' Hamlet and the Evolving Code of Honor in Early Modern England." Renaissance Quarterly. 52.4 (Winter 1999): 1070-1086. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org:80/stable/2901836>
Wilson, John Dover. What Happens in Hamlet. London: Cambridge Univ. Press, 1962.
Wilson asserts:
Hamlet...was written by an Elizabethan for Elizabethans. If therefore we of the twentieth century desire to enter fully into that situation we must ask ourselves how it would present itself to English minds at the end of the sixteenth…We must be careful not to overlook those tacit understandings between Shakespeare and his audience which, just because they were tacit,…are more likely to escape us. (26)This is a good attitude to have towards any piece of literature: an observer of Hamlet must not only look at their own reactions but at the perceptions and opinions of the intended audience. This is what Prosser grapples with: whether “Shakespeare’s audience endorsed blood revenge as an unquestioned duty” (3) or “reprehensible blasphemy” (6). Why the Establishment (that is, the government and church) would be against revenge is clear: it stems from “fears of civil disorder” (5). However, Broude emphasizes that:
“The Renaissance revenge and vengeance denoted not only the general idea of retribution but also each particular species of retribution authorized by any of the several socio-legal systems which coexisted uneasily in Tudor-Stuart England. An offense might be understood to have been committed against an individual or family, against a commonwealth, or against a divinity, and in each case a different concept of right and wrong retribution was all operative. (40-41)In the case of Hamlet, the offense applies in all of these cases: Claudius killed his brother, offending his son, usurping Denmark for himself, and flying in the face of the king’s God-ordained position as the head of government. Hamlet cannot expect any civil authority to intervene when the new king is the perpetrator of the crime that affronted him. Prosser acknowledges this when she asks: “Faced with an outright murderer who continues to thrive, how can a would-be revenger possibly convince himself that patience serves the ends of justice?” (11).
Furthermore, Prosser summarizes that: “the Establishment condemned private revenge, but history denies that its campaign had widespread influence…Far more influential than the orthodox code of the Establishment were two popular codes that placed the demands of revenge above the strictures of religion and law” (4) and “most Elizabethans of all classes, not merely members of the nobility, considered blood revenge justifiable and even obligatory in certain special cases” (17). In this light it seems apparent that no matter how vehemently the Establishment was against revenge, Elizabethans were not so sold on surrendering their propensity to take matters in their own hands, nor would they have overtly disapproved of Hamlet’s actions.
There is still, however, the question of morality. Skulsky defines the “two popular codes” as: “the law of the talon and the code of honor” (78). These codes are not the same and from a modern perspective do not hold the same weight. “What the talon lusts after is nothing less than the total destruction of the hated object and of all that can be identified with it” (78). This is an apt description of Hamlet’s motivation when he states:
But in our circumstance and course of thoughtFrom a modern perspective, Hamlet’s decision is far from heroic; “Hamlet is devoted, at this point at least, to the death of his uncle’s soul; and the devotion is not ennobling” (Skulsky 79). Skulsky argues that the biblical definition of revenge, found in Numbers 35:19, prescribes that justice be dealt quickly, not after waiting for the murderer to sin again (79). Prosser takes an even stricter stance: “To be sure, the Christian must fight evil, but his proper enemy is his own sin, not the incurable ills that attend his life. He should welcome adversity as a loving gift of God” (12). This is not the prevalent attitude in modern societies: most Americans avoid adversity and hardship at all costs.
‘Tis heavy with him; and am I then revenged
To take him in the purging of his soul,
When he is fit and seasoned for his passage?
No.
Up, sword, and know thou a more horrid hent. (3.3.83-88)
Moore takes a very different stance than most modern Christians probably would. He argues that revenge is allowed in Mosaic law, as long as another witness of the crime is available to testify, and that not only would Shakespeare’s audience realize this, but they would expect Horatio to become the second witness (503). This argument seems weak when coupled with the fact that no one actually witnessed Claudius’ crime: we only have the Ghost’s word to go on coupled with Claudius’ reaction to the play. Furthermore, Horatio did not witness Claudius’ confession as Hamlet did.
Moore disagrees with Skulsky about the sins of premeditation and disagrees with the attitude that: “if the avenger fails to kill the slayer at their first meeting, then he has disobeyed God's imperative—or missed his only chance” (502). He also finds it to be a “curious stipulation that the avenger of blood” is expected to “kill the slayer without enmity” (499). His observes “Hamlet's destruction of his old schoolfellows” (503)—when he sends them to their deaths in London—is just another example of the law of the talon seems a little harsh. Though one might suppose that their deaths do seem to be uncalled for, they are no more senseless that Hamlet choosing to damn Claudius’ soul and kill Polonius merely because he was hiding behind a curtain. Not everything in Hamlet makes sense.
Terry also deals with the codes of honor, which she establishes as relying on promise when she quotes Mervyn James: “the importance of ‘promise’ was that this gave the essence of honor, will and intention” (qtd. in Terry 1071). This intention stems from “an internalized concept of what it means to be an honorable man…honor was becoming, by the seventeenth century, a matter of conscience; honorable men needed to seek, in every situation, to behave in such a way to please both their state and their God” (1071). Terry seems to be saying that the old concept of honor was that, if a man gave his word, he had to do what he said he was going to do. This makes sense when one considers Hamlet’s determination to kill Claudius when it seems obvious that revenge is not his normal inclination. Hamlet’s honor being insulted, he immediately vows to revenge his father, just as the Ghost requests, saying: “Haste me to know’t, that I, with wings as swift / As meditation or the thoughts of love, / May sweep to my revenge” (1.5.29-31).
At first glance Hamlet seems to trusts the Ghosts report (1.5.109-111), but Hamlet is far from swift to revenge. Moore notes that “as Elizabethan audiences knew, the testimony of the Ghost may derive from a demon bent on Hamlet's damnation” (503), but does that even matter once Hamlet has given his vow? It seems that Hamlet is bound by the code of honor now; he cannot merely change his mind, no matter how long he grapples with his conscience. Wilson observes of Hamlet: “his inactivity, his inability to perform that on which his mind is set, that which he wills, corresponds with the emotional state in which he seems drained of blood, devoid of all desire save the desire of death, and even unable to accomplish that” (226), seems to be a clear symptom of “melancholy,” something that sounds suspiciously like depression. For most of the play, Hamlet is still paralyzed by the sorrow that his father’s death has brought him, and grapples not with revenge or honor, but with melancholy and death.
In the end, little in Hamlet seems clear cut; it’s all a tangled web of misdirection and indecision that comes to a bloody end. Hamlet gets his damnation of Claudius’ soul, but his own actions possibly damn his own soul in the process. Elizabethans probably would have approved of Hamlet’s actions as well as the questions he was asking. The witness’ question ends up being: does the Law still apply now that Jesus’ death and resurrection has perfected it? Not even Christians can agree on that point, so one can only give an imperfect and personal opinion in response. Personally, the stipulation about enmity makes perfect sense, and Hamlet sinned, but whether he is going to heaven or hell… only God could judge.
Works Cited
Broude, Ronald. "Revenge and Revenge Tragedy in Renaissance England." Renaissance Quarterly. 28.1 (Spring 1975): 38-58. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org:80/stable/2860421>
Moore, Peter R. "Hamlet and the Two Witness Rule." Notes and Queries. 44.4 (Dec 1997): 498-503. Literature Online. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://gateway.proquest.com/openurl?ctx_ver=Z39.88-2003&xri:pqil:res_ver=0.2&res_id=xri:lion-us&rft_id=xri:lion:ft:abell:R01264856:0>
Prosser, Eleanor. Hamlet & Revenge. Stanford, CA: Stanford Univ. Press, 1967.
“Revenge.” Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. 09 Dec. 2008. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/revenge>
Shakespeare, William. Hamlet. New York, NY: Norton, 1963.
Skulsky, Harold. "Revenge, Honor, and Conscience in Hamlet." PMLA. 85.1 (Jan., 1970): 78-87. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 12 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org/stable/1261433>
Terry, Reta A. "'Vows to the Blackest Devil:' Hamlet and the Evolving Code of Honor in Early Modern England." Renaissance Quarterly. 52.4 (Winter 1999): 1070-1086. JSTOR. Mesa State Col., Grand Junction, CO. 23 Nov. 2008. <http://0-www.jstor.org.www.millennium.marmot.org:80/stable/2901836>
Wilson, John Dover. What Happens in Hamlet. London: Cambridge Univ. Press, 1962.
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