To Clydesdale or not to Clydesdale

Apparently the Ironman races no longer contain Clydesdale and Athena divisions and haven't done so since 2008.  I wasn't aware of this since i was not actually training for my first triathlon yet and am still a long way away from thinking that an Ironman is something even remotely possible for me to complete.  I can't imagine completing a half-Ironman.

But it is apparent in the thread that i stumbled upon that even having Clydesdale/Athena divisions in any race causes some contention.  There seems to be a disagreement about what it means, and i have discovered that i myself seem to have been misinformed.   Kevin was pretty articulate about it:

The clydesdale division is EXACTLY for those big dudes who are nothing but muscle. It wasn't created for fatties, this is the biggest failure in the clydesdale movement right now.

Clydesdale racing is not for an out of shape fat guy to claim an award, although at small races that often happens. Clydesdale racing is about those large framed muscled up guys. These guys train their asses off, work VERY hard, and given their size put in some amazing performances. However due to the nature of their build, they will never score in their age group at a big race.

I have the perfect example, a friend of mine named Lance from Delaware, has a 5k time in the low 18s his size was 6'5" and 250 pounds. That performance is pretty well unbelievable, smokin. To do this he needed to d a lot of training, lot of running, all the right things and he even needed to have some natural gifts. He is built as solid as a rock, not a fat guy at all.

Now, while an admirable performance low 18s won't even sniff the age group awards at a 5k with a decent number of runners in it. So Joe Law decided these type of performances should get an award. I think a lot of people agree that this is a reasonable thing to do.

However, at a lot of small races, it;s not only the big strongly built guys you see getting an award, occasionally you get the guy who is kinda bug but mostly just needs to lose weight. Sometimes he sneaks in there and takes an award, the problem with this is that when others see it, it changes the perception of what clydesdale racing is about. It makes people think it is about a bunch of out of shape guys giving each other awards, and that's not really what it is about. It is EXACTKLY about the guys built like the fellows at the race you saw.

Here's more on how it got started, notice that times follow weight, not BMI but weight.

The concept of weight division competition and the moniker “Clydesdale”, can be traced back to a Baltimore area statistician name Joe Law who founded the Clydesdale Runners Association in the mid-1980s. Joe Law convinced the race director of the Marine Corps Marathon and several other local races to include a field on race applications for competitors to record their weight. This data provided the basis for Joe’s statistical analysis of running performance vs. weight, and he determined with mathematical precision, that a runner’s weight and speed in road races are inversely proportional. Above 160 or 170 pounds there is a sharp drop off in times. This observation provided the basis for concept of weight division competition, so that big runners could compete amongst their peers, on a more level playing field. The concept is analogous to offering age-division competition in road races and has gained grudging support through the years. Joe coined the term “Clydesdale” to identify big athletes. Clydesdales are big and strong horses—perhaps not the fastest, but certainly amongst the most determined of the workhorses. Weight division competitors relish being compared to their equine anima. Sadly, Joe Law passed away in 1991 and the national Clydesdale movement stalled.

Wow.  This makes a lot of sense since Clydesdales are not fat horses, they are huge, muscular, slow and strong horses.  The interesting thing to me is that i still fit in this category.  I am not tall by any means but even when at my lowest weight i was considered to be about thirty pounds overweight and firmly in the Athena group by fifteen pounds.  I was in the best shape of my life but too "overweight" to enlist.  I am slow and steady about swimming, biking, and running, a fact which drove my swim team coach and mountain biking instructor bonkers.  But in Softball i was one of our strongest hitters and would consistently get doubles because i could hit it far and would run full out, getting more speed in that situation that i would while running for endurance.  Determination is what it has always been about for me no matter what the sport.

One thing i do not agree with Kevin about is being termed a "fatty".  I gained my weight kicking and screaming.  I have always tried to eat healthfully, i don't drink often (in fact, rarely would be the accurate term), and for most of my adult life i have consistently worked out three-six days a week.  How dare he assume that someone like me is a couch potato when i am unable to lose weight when on a strict regimen such as this and when i work out less than three times a week will randomly gain fifteen-fifty pounds?  Yes fifty, when i was about to turn eighteen i jumped from ~180 to ~230 while we were moving to Colorado.  I attribute my weight gain to stress but have no idea why i cannot lose weight.  There are others whose weight gain is medical, perhaps because of medication they have to take.

I'm sorry if i'm being a broken record.  Three years ago i thought i was on track.  Only losing ten-fifteen pounds after training for over three months, part of it six days a week and two workouts a day, was discouraging, but i kept at it.  Even six months later, after a painful injury, i kept working out about four-five days a week.  My body was different back then, i was a lot more muscular and down a pant size.  You want to know why i stopped training?  Because i wanted to graduate from college.  I reached a point where i couldn't get all my homework done even when i wasn't training.  I quit work, i quit training, and i worked my butt off in a new way.  And in the process i have lost muscle and gained fat.  I reached my goal, i graduated from college and even managed to bring my GPA back up to a 3.0.

People assumed that i was proud of this accomplishment.  I'm not.  It was surreal at the time and i have long felt that i was duped into going to college.  I allowed myself to be sucked into the lie that one has to go to college to be intelligent and that if one has a degree a comfortable middle-class life is guaranteed.  Such things are not true, there are no guarantees, and there are people i know who are much better educated than i am who are in the same place without as much support, who work two jobs or barely make ends meet.  College is a scam.  It was more of the high school machine where you are required to read and temporarily master certain artificial definitions of "knowledge" and when the love of true learning is squashed and the time to do so is restricted.  Now don't get me wrong, i really enjoyed being in college to a certain extent, and i even miss parts of it.  There were teachers who greatly influenced me and that i was glad to have as a part of my life.  But the system is flawed, just as public school is, just as there an alternative in homeschooling, i feel there needs to be an alternative for higher learning to college.  I am in so much debt and have little to show for my very considerable efforts.

What i was proud of was finishing that triathlon.  It was only a sprint, and i was one of the slowest people out there, but i finished the race.  I am a Clydesdale in that way, i believe in perseverance, strength, and willpower.  So to the naysayers to the Clydesdale/Athena divisions can i just say that you are being elitest jerks.  Not everyone has the body of a runner, and do you know what, that is not anyone's fault, it's genetics.  We can't control who our parents, grandparents, ancestors were.  We can't control what bone structure we have or if we bulk up or if our muscles lengthen.  We can't control that because we can't engineer better athletic bodies before they are even born and even if we could there is no gene for the human spirit.

But finishing that triathlon seems to be the pinnacle of my achievement and it's all downhill again.  I did finish my mountain biking class, but i certainly did not master the activity or keep up with the pack.  I was only competing against my former self, but of course there was very strong peer pressure to be something that God did not design me to be, that i never will be.  That isn't fair.  So you people who consider yourself to be the true athletes, are you so special because you just happened to have the right body type?  I bet you would be pissed off at me if i believed that.  You put in the training, too, you've sacrificed just as i have.  I don't think any less of you because you haven't had my struggles, why do you think less of me because of mine?  But if you were required to strap on a fat suit on race day, would you even compete?  I've been required to strap on a fat suit every day for the past twelve years and was treated as if i was fat for the ten years before that.

Okay, so i admit it...i am the one who chose to go to college, so it's my own fault that i'm in debt and chained to a future i don't really want (that is to say, working to pay off my debt rather than working to thrive).  And i chose college over training for more triathlons.  So why do i continue to not train?  Number 1 reason is exhaustion and not wanting to be injured again.  Number 2 is that i need to get my act together.  Number 3 is i feel like i have less time now than i did while doing school and working simultaneously.  Part of this is structure:  while i was in school i had the same classes five days a week and my work schedule changed very little.  I had my day of "rest" fall on Saturday because i worked all day and was able to schedule my workouts around my classes even with the campus pool closed because it was being rebuilt.  Now i am working more and my schedule changes every week.  I need to make room in my life for training and very tentatively.  I'm not sure that i can handle training and working 7-9 hour days.  Before i was only working 4-6 hour days (except Saturdays) and sitting on my butt in class the rest of the time.  Now i stand all day long and it hurts.  This is going to be a process, i can't dive into this thoughtlessly, i need to make sure i do it right.  Because i'm not as young as i used to be and slow and steady wins the race.

June workouts of note

In June it felt like i worked a lot.  There was one period where i worked for four days, took care of my grandparents for four days, then worked three more days... straight.  That's eleven days without a day off.

Two workouts stand out:  a light swim workout (150m?) and a hike/wade/rock climbing expedition.  I banged up my left shin on two different rocks and bruised my left bicep.  I wore my Vibrams and because of the pebbles/rocks in the bottom of the stream my feet seriously hurt for several days.  I wish i would have worn my Airwalk Teva-type shoe instead as a result.

Why i haven't been training...100 degree weather and fatigue.  My leg muscles have been complaining a lot.  I am struggling to drink enough water.  I don't feel like i have the energy to train.  But i miss it so much.  This week i was in the warehouse two days straight and my calves still hurt.  At the end of a shift i can barely walk (though to be fair i can run, different muscle group entirely).  This needs to change and soon.

I want to change my diet but i'm not sure where to begin.  More to come.

Breaking the Mold (700th post)

My mother had a copy of Color Me Beautiful when i was a child.  I assumed that i was a summer, like my mother is.  I look a lot like her.  My sister and i were draped once in 4-H and years later at a church pamper party/sleepover.  Both times were a surprising experience for me.   The first time i discovered that i was not in fact a summer, but an autumn.  I didn't even like most of the autumn colors in the Color Me Beautiful palette!  But i did gradually come to realize that while blue brings out the color of my (rare for an autumn) turquoise eyes, i usually look better in rust, avocado, gold, and brown (those dreaded Tupperware colors!) than pink, sea foam green, lemon yellow, or black.  I even gradually grew to like these colors (gasp!).


The second time i was draped, we were again surprised.  I had been lifeguarding that summer and was very tan, possible darker than i have ever been before and am likely to ever be again.  None of the colors seemed to flatter with my darker coloring.  We couldn't decide between warm or cool.  It was given up and it bothered me for a long time.  Shouldn't colors still be flattering if your skin darkens or pales, as it did once i reached twenty-one and stopped spending so much time outside?


I already mentioned that i have blue eyes.  To be fair there is some hazel in their, too, around my pupil and a slate blue around the outer edge.  But my hair is inexplicable.  I grew up with blonde hair, it was never very pale after the age of about three or four though.  It was a horrific dishwater blonde that i could not stand, far too ash for my sensibilities.  I always wanted red hair, but didn't think i (a presumed summer) would look good with red, so i wished for brown, instead.  The trouble is that a true brown would probably be too dark for my coloring, but i didn't know that until later.  The irony is that that summer i got too tan, my hair turned into a beautiful honey blonde all on its own.  I was so happy, my hair wasn't too light or too dark and it went reddish on its own!  Alas, by the time i turned eighteen it had darkened into a horrible ash brown that i soon started to highlight and dye.


Those who are really into color analysis will tell you that your body will produce colors that flatter you.  They might as well tell me that my body will produce shapes that flatter me, it seems just as believable.  Of course i agree in theory, but personal experience has taught me that my natural hair color was only ever flattering for one year out of thirty.  I have tried going back to my natural hair.  It is a very strange black-blonde, iridescent to the point of having no color at all in it except a very dark gray that looks horrible with my coloring.  I like the color gray but have been told that i should never wear it by some of these analysts writings.  I have yet to find a gray hair on my head but the ash is so extreme that it's distressing.


Fairly recently, my sister discovered colors again.  I have no idea how or when she stumbled upon the idea that there are actually twelve "season"s, not four, but she let me in on the secret about a year ago.  When she had been draped we had always thought that she was a winter, but she has come to the conclusion that she is actually a Bright Spring.  She's had a similar battle with her blonde hair because she always felt blah with her shade and resorted to dying her hair red and strawberry blonde.  She was naturally strawberry blonde at the beginning of her life i am told by our mother, but she quickly became tow headed.  Armed with new, brighter colors she is coming to terms with her hair.  The irony is that the colors i was originally given to work with made me hate my hair even more.


So what of the new Autumns: Soft, True/Warm, and Deep?  I kept dabbling in it on and off for months.  I definitely am not a Deep Autumn.  Nothing about me is dark, except my skin when i send entire summers out of doors, and that's only dark for a Caucasian.  For a while i was convinced that i must be a Soft Autumn.  They are close to Summer and as a result lean cooler.  I think that the main thing that drew me to this season was the fact that some of the colors they were showing were more muted than the bright colors of a True Autumn.  That appealed to me for a long time.  But at the same time, if i looked at a palette, many of the colors  were simply too pale.  In addition, the longer that i have worked in a job that requires me to wear blue and khaki every day (with a royal blue right next to my face), the more i have wanted to rebel and wear Warm Spring colors...mostly because i am tired of feeling drab, unremarkable, and can't seem to find any descent Autumn colors anywhere i shop.


Which brought me back to Warm Autumn...which some analysts say can borrow from Warm Spring.  Perhaps this appeals to me because of the celebrity red heads that are pictured in relation to this season?  I am not convinced, but I will stay with it for the time being.  The only other option, I feel, is the possibility that I am a Soft Autumn Deep in the fledgeling 16 Season system.  I'm not sure if that's me leaning back to muted colors in a way, i have yet to see any palettes for this "new" season.

I recently did a series of "makeovers" based off of one photo. Looking at these did little to help.  I must be some kind of chameleon because in the photos the ash colors don't even look that bad on me, nor the pink (which i used to hate and still rarely wear).  I just don't know where i fit.  Except i know that i'm not a winter.  The weakness of these makeovers is that the colors i can use are limited to my face and hair...i can't drape the photos.


You ever hear the expression "When God made you, he threw away the mold?"  I would be rather surprised if i have ever fit into a mold.  Take the Kibbe system...apparently in the 80's this guy wrote a book that basically said that if you have a certain body type you should dress a certain way.  I took two different quizzes, perhaps the most helpful being the illustrated one (i.e. it had celebrity examples).  You can find the links to that here and here.  So i took this quiz three separate times and got three separate answers:  Natural, Dramatic Classic, and dominant Bs and Cs with equal As and Es.


Natural is what i assumed i would be, but some of it just doesn't fit my personal sense of style.  There was a time where i would have been okay with Dramatic Classic, but that was when i was in junior high, and i only dipped into that sensibility briefly.  Kibbe seems to have missed out on my type entirely (what about athletic girls who only ever wear workout clothes?  Beach Wear?  Ethnic clothing?  Why no Ingenue?).  I'm not entirely convinced that he knew what he was talking about and furthermore i'm not convinced that the shape of a person's body should define their personality!


But to demonstrate what Kibbe made me feel...i am going to take the quiz again, and instead of trying to fit myself into his categories, if none of the answers apply i am going to choose F.  Which might as well equal Fat but i chose because they always have five options, A-E.

1. Vertical Line - A (i'm only 5'5", but people always think that i'm taller)
2. Shoulders - F (i want to go with B, but in reality i have football pads for shoulders: they are broad, muscular, and soft)
3. Arm/Leg Length - F (my legs are an average length, my arms are short)
4. Hands - F (small/stubby and broad)
5. Body Type - B (with a lot of fat covering it)
6. Bustline - E
7. Waistline - B (again, lots of fat)
8. Hips - A? (i want to say F again...)
9. Arm/Thigh Flesh - F (i can't choose between B and E, and think that E would only be because i am overweight.  How is flesh elongated?)
10. Jawline - C (Nearly put F because what jawline?  It is covered with a quadruple chin.  Even when thin i have a double chin.)
11. Nose - C
12. Cheekbones - B or E (i'm not certain)
13. Eyes - C
14. Lips - C
15. Cheeks - C?
16. Hair - B

To Sum Up
A - 2
B - 2
C - 5
D - 0
E - 2
F - 4


With all of those F's i probably would put B if i were to force myself into a category.  But C = that Dramatic Classic of which i am definitely not a member!  Kibbe obviously had a narrow vision of women.


Last night an old casual friend of mine posted a link on Facebook to Back When Women Wanted to Get Fat.  I bet you i couldn't go pick up some Wate-On at my local drugstore.  Is my body the old ideal?  Am i living in the wrong time?  I really think that my body has been ravaged by the modern food industry.  My breasts don't have the same shape as the bras i wear and are threatening to grow again, probably because my waist has expanded a little bit.  It's scary.  I don't want to be thin, but any time i try to lose weight i only lose 10-15 pounds...and when i stop working out six days a week i gain 30-50.  I don't want to break 300 but if i do diet/train again then it will probably happen.  I need serious help now.