Okay, apparently Aunt Polly feels that all i do here is whine. What's up with that? Why is it that everyone always seems to think that my feelings aren't valid?

Anyways, the past few weeks have been really hard for me. I haven't been able to find a job and am hating my current one more than ever. I seriously do not know how i got through last week. I was very upset with God because my praying seemed to be getting me nowhere. I am so tired of my life being hard.

And then yesterday i realized that i was whining to God (though not here). I know life isn't supposed to be easy but it sure would be nice if it were easier at least for a little while! The great thing is that God understands how i feel and actually enjoys talking with me (even when i'm screaming at Him (: ). He's blessed me with a reconnection with an old friend (Little One and i have been conversing every day! It's so nice having an honest conversation with someone who will actually encourage me and be understanding instead of critical) but my car has been unreliable as ever (though Mom and Dad say they'll pay for my car's repairs). I don't know if i'll get to go to the Rennaissance Faire in Raleigh this weekend with the NCFellowship as i want to ): but i am trying to buckle under (take it like a woman!!!) and work through things.

I have no idea how to keep going on like this but i also don't know what God wants me to do so i'm very uneasy about all of this. I just want to Run Away!!! but maybe He wants me to use the Holy Hand Grenade or something. Anyways, it's all very confusing cuz i've been trying to do the right stuff and nothin's workin'. Still, i've decided that i at least need to be trying to do His will even if i do feel like i'm way past the end of my rope!

Have to go, but i will keep you (is anyone there?) posted... Er, blogged.