So... i've been a bit silent of late, haven't i? I've mostly just been trying to get through each day. I'm enjoying going to the gym two (to three) times a week but feel like we're always running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We're so busy: too busy for my liking.

In church news, the entire Hickory Grove Baptist Church (and most of the Southern Baptist Convention) is doing 40 Days of Purpose. I recommend the book: though at first i was a bit disappointed it's grown to be more thought-provoking. The Monday night Bible study is on hiatus until after we (my Sunday school class) finish the book but we're still meeting on Mondays as usual to discuss the Purpose Driven Life study. I missed last Monday because my car suddenly won't start again, though this time there's something else wrong with it than last time. This Saturday my aunt and i begin attending a new study on relationships taught by the Alexanders.

In world news, Madrid was victim to terrorist attack yesterday. No one is sure who did it yet (of course) but the fact that it was the two and a half year anniversary of 9/11 was a bit of an eye opener to me. It makes me even more annoyed with my current situation as i feel i'm muzzled and shackled to a life that i don't really want to be leading. I mean, where's the future God promised me? It's very hard to wait.

I've been really mad with God the past couple of days. But i felt guilty last night when i got home and found a check in the mail that was returning most of my quarter of the deposit from the apartment Megan, Andrew, Sarah, and i shared: $70.50. Makes me feel rich. I'm very glad that i've already paid Megan and Andrew back all the money i owed them cuz i'm opening a savings account.

I'm looking for a new job but so far all the doors are very, very closed. I've been praying about this a lot, do not know how to stay at this job any longer (it's an effort to get through each day) but somehow i do it. It's not me but i don't feel God either. It's very draining and stressful and depressing. It's hard to stay hopeful. I don't know what's going to happen to me.