Thursday, November 01, 2007

silence is weird

i really feel like i have no time to do anything when i work for eight hours a day. Work is always very consuming and exhausting. This is obvious when you've lost twenty-five plus pounds and you're on your feet the entire time you're at work. But i'm trying to improve myself, because as much as i originally liked my job i now dislike it. i love working with fellow WoW player K. but manager L. is just a pain in my rear. i can't stand people who say one thing and do another and expect one person to work hard, follow the rules, while not even caring when her pets don't do the same thing. i work hard to make sure our customers are satisfied and the store looks presentable but a lot of fellow employees could care less. They seem to make work harder for others on purpose. Plus L. says that my blue jeans look too "comfortable" while letting her supervisor T. wear ratty sweats, flipflops, and other dress code unworthy fare. Oh, and a lot of my pants don't fit anymore, some of them actually physically falling off me if i'm not careful, which i suppose is a nice problem to have, but i don't have the money to buy replacements at present. So suffice to say that i'm still working but am looking for a better job. i hate complaining so much but i hate it more that my complaints are so valid, otherwise i wouldn't make them to begin with.

On another note, i have posted a personal ad at craigslist (very hesitant but sort of desperate, isn't that great to admit) and have already received three replies (if you can call them that). i'm not looking for freak and deek, but really don't know how to meet a local guy. Everyone who comes into work is already involved with a girl (that's probably why he's there, he's with her) or is gay. i have not met one single guy at church. i have no extracuricular activities, no prospects, and am going out of my skull. After the roller coaster infatuation of earlier this the year and inexplicable development of attraction to an entirely different coworker later on, i desperately want a new relationship. Have i talked about this here? It was too fresh before.

i had the worst crush on one of the unmarried meteorologists at KJ. i was beside myself, i could not deal, he reminded me so much of Grandad and i was desperate with what ifs and hope when he turned out to be dating and utterly unavailable. It took me a long time to get over him, and then i started developing an appreciation for a certain flirtatious and humerous morning producer but he didn't seem interested so nothing happened. And then i moved away.

i'm so sick of meeting guys, getting interested, all for naught. i love my sister but i don't want her to be the only person i know in Savannah. Maybe i should figure out a better way to meet guys, but i don't know what to do. Anyways, i know i'm psychotic, but it sure would be nice to find someone to at least hang out with. At least at KJ i felt like i had a social life. (:

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