exhausted

i used a gel at the beginning of mountain biking class today, and probably should have used one part of the way through as well. i forgot my ponytail holder, and was soooo hot, but i made it through the class, doing the same thing as the rest of the group the entire way. We had to walk our bikes part of the way (and some of us pushed them farther than others) because today we took a more difficult trail. i am vastly improved compared to where i started, but i still lack confidence when going downhill sometimes. What i am doing is rather unbelievable to me, and i'm actually reaching a point where i can tell myself: "Yes, you're scared, but you know how to do this. Don't tense up, just go with it." i have the tendency to lock up on the brakes, hold onto the handlebars for dear life when my hands should be relaxed (fingers extended and resting on the brakes), and mess up in places where i feel like i should be able to go, but i am improving. i am even able to go uphill more easily now, though i still have to push my bike a lot (the climbs in this area are brutal), i'm getting the technique down (i've discovered that i need to move forward in the seat but stay seated). Mom would be freaked out if she saw where i rode today, and i was at first, too, until i told myself to just ignore the drop off because to focus on it would guarantee that i would fall off the side of the hill. Right now, even though i'm improving, i'm concerned that i may have EIA (Exercise Induced Asthma), because sometimes after workouts i'm wheezy for several hours and have a bit of a cough (the day of the Highline Hustle and this past Tuesday come to mind). Anyway, i need to do some homework now and study for my first Art test tomorrow, but i thought i would check in.

On another note... i've been really wanting to write more on healthcare (besides the snippets on Facebook that are totally being taken out of context), but haven't found the time. Now it's been so long that it's sort of starting to feel like "What's the point?" But the fight is far from over. i've been wanting to start a podcast ever since the Fourth of July, too. The 5th of November is on the brain lately, as well.