state of training

Over the past six weeks i have been doing yoga two times a week and mountain biking 2-3 times a week (usually just two, but sometimes with another day thrown in). i still haven't figured out how to record my workouts online, but i have been working my butt off. But of course the mod is quickly coming to an end (i think there are two weeks left in it) so my thoughts are turning to what i'm going to do afterwards. i do not want to lose my newly acquired mountain biking skills, and would like to continue to improve, so i think i'm going to aim for doing that at least once a week. But my main goals, i think, should return to running. i've only been doing a bit of jogging here and there, not even getting out of breath, just putting on bursts of speed while crossing the street or parking lot, etc. Truth be told, i cannot believe how light on my feet i feel when i do so, possibly because i am now used to (well, forcing myself to) pedal up steep inclines with a backpack on or walking around campus with a backpack on. i think that i will do the Couch to 5k program again, this time focusing on speed more than endurance, at least in the first 5-6 weeks or so. i am still worried about the possibility of me having E.I.A. but i don't know when or if i'll be able to see a doctor about it anytime soon. i could go to the Marrilac clinic possibly, but i'm not sure when i'll find the time... maybe after the mod ends. Anyways, after the cruise my thoughts will probably turn to training for my next triathlon, but in the meantime i will continue to build from where i am and challenge myself.

re: my recent weight gain

i have gained 3 pounds. One might think that this has made me upset, but it hasn't. You see, those 3 pounds are pure muscle. i haven't lost any inches around my waist according to the tape measure, but i have gained muscle there (i can open and close my belly button with my muscles now, it's really weird). For the first time since i started losing weight (a little over a year ago), my clothing is truly starting to get loose and fall off me. i have bought several pairs of size 16 pants, and the size 18's i bought right before school started are already getting looser.

Since i started this semester, i have decided that i do not want to be thin. i would like to be thinner, of course, but i do not wish to be a stick or a twig. All the Venuses that i have seen so far in my current art history class are HUGE; they used to be the ideal. Things have changed so very much! So many celebrities and models are too thin and it disgusts me. i will never be curvy, but i am curvier, as strange as that may sound (less flab, more feminine shape). i hope to never stop being an athlete, and i hope to never be so thin that you can see my ribs or washboard abs. Women are meant to be round: i embrace this. At the moment, i think i might be revising my goal to just get under 200, and then see where i go from there. i'm not sure that 165 is as feasible for me as it once was.

exhausted

i used a gel at the beginning of mountain biking class today, and probably should have used one part of the way through as well. i forgot my ponytail holder, and was soooo hot, but i made it through the class, doing the same thing as the rest of the group the entire way. We had to walk our bikes part of the way (and some of us pushed them farther than others) because today we took a more difficult trail. i am vastly improved compared to where i started, but i still lack confidence when going downhill sometimes. What i am doing is rather unbelievable to me, and i'm actually reaching a point where i can tell myself: "Yes, you're scared, but you know how to do this. Don't tense up, just go with it." i have the tendency to lock up on the brakes, hold onto the handlebars for dear life when my hands should be relaxed (fingers extended and resting on the brakes), and mess up in places where i feel like i should be able to go, but i am improving. i am even able to go uphill more easily now, though i still have to push my bike a lot (the climbs in this area are brutal), i'm getting the technique down (i've discovered that i need to move forward in the seat but stay seated). Mom would be freaked out if she saw where i rode today, and i was at first, too, until i told myself to just ignore the drop off because to focus on it would guarantee that i would fall off the side of the hill. Right now, even though i'm improving, i'm concerned that i may have EIA (Exercise Induced Asthma), because sometimes after workouts i'm wheezy for several hours and have a bit of a cough (the day of the Highline Hustle and this past Tuesday come to mind). Anyway, i need to do some homework now and study for my first Art test tomorrow, but i thought i would check in.

On another note... i've been really wanting to write more on healthcare (besides the snippets on Facebook that are totally being taken out of context), but haven't found the time. Now it's been so long that it's sort of starting to feel like "What's the point?" But the fight is far from over. i've been wanting to start a podcast ever since the Fourth of July, too. The 5th of November is on the brain lately, as well.

tickets...

Today, we bought the (plane) tickets for our cruise of the Mediterranean (it's only two months away, now). i am so excited! i wanted to buy them Sunday night, but we actually saved money by buying them today, about $150 per ticket. i have a heinous headache, but the weather outside is cool and rainy, so i am ecstatic. i am so ready for fall.

Man, i really have a lot of schoolwork to get finished before the trip.

i almost forgot!

Did i mention the girl in my class who i thought was going to be slower than me? She's not. Today, after she got her bike out of the back of the truck she carpools in, she rode up to me full tilt, skidded to a halt, and said loudly:

"I meant to tell you, I think you're a real inspiration!!!"

i was incredibly flattered and actually felt like i deserved the compliment, which is really unusual. It occurred to me today, when i was at the back of the pack again, my chain had slipped off, and i felt like i was about to hurl... i'm not used to riding with others, or running, or swimming. i have been training completely alone for almost a year now. i would like to be able to keep up with everyone, or even stay at the front of the pack. But my goal is always the same...

i'm not competing against anyone except my former self.

Maybe that will change in a year or two, but for now, it's working, so i'm sticking to it.

state of the education

Today Kristi learned that asking questions is answering questions! At least when a teacher does it!!! This is the complete opposite of what the same teacher taught her in her glorified grammar class, but there you go!

Today Kristi enjoyed yoga, but still finds it jarring when the class is trying to reach a meditative state and the instructor emphasizes "IN HALE" quite like a drill instructor!

Today Kristi got an A on her Photojournalism assignment!

Today Kristi didn't get injured in Mountain Biking! She was told to not take the extended loop with Throw-Up-Boy and Lose-Chain-Boy, and felt as if she could have ridden farther!

Today Kristi took her first test in World Geography and had a fascinating lecture on why communist countries have horrible pollution! She couldn't believe that the teacher sounded so conservative!

wow, i'm speechless

i just heard about this video this week, but apparently it came out inauguration week. The video is, quite frankly, awe inspiringly scary. i do not quite know how to respond. Yes, i have a pledge, but it is quite, quite different from theirs.

i have been incredibly busy with school, barely getting assignments done, working more than i should, spending more than i should, and wondering what in the world i have gotten myself into. This was supposed to be the easy semester, i have largely been trying to ignore politics because i just do not have the time to properly inform myself and mount a defense, but... wow. How am i supposed to remain silent to what is happening? i am quite literally terrified for my family, friends, and self... no, for everyone. i wonder if these people still believe that Obama is as saint-like as they make him out to be in this video. i wonder if it is too late to stop what is happening, to get the truth out.

How is a young woman supposed to fight the darkness, support herself, finish college, and take a cruise? i've been doing a lot of inner inspection on these issues. Who am i, how can i change things? On the other hand, how can i remain silent, how could i not be going to these townhall meetings and taking a stand? i am, quite honestly, utterly clueless about what i should do. Right now i'm trying to wade through 1984, i hardly have the time. How am i supposed to take on more?

black and blue

Mountain bike class is proving to be frustrating. i am the slowest person in class. i was doing pretty good at the beginning (despite getting stuck in a rut and skinning my left knee at the beginning of the ride), but everyone but one guy took off. i held back so he wouldn't be alone... and then he just pushed past and left me in the dust! Later on when i finally caught up he said he felt sick, and i couldn't help but feel the slightest bit smug. It was hot (though cooler than last time), and about 2/3 of the way through i lost steam, was so hot, and then my body started freaking out and getting cold. i wasn't sure that i was going to make it, and once again it was just me and the teacher to the finish (well, he rode ahead and paused periodically, which is rude and not safe, but there you go). Then i accidentally locked my back break on the last big hill and my back tire skidded out, so i fell and scraped my right outer calf pretty bad. i was so frustrated, both by being left behind and not being able to keep up as well as the fact that everyone was too big of a jerk to wait for me. And of course at the end of the ride the teacher told me that i need to be riding more on the days that there is no class, but where am i supposed to find the time and how am i supposed to do that when i have NO ONE to go with me and you're always supposed to ride in a group of three.

So this afternoon was very frustrating, but i have already improved so much, my form is there i just need more endurance and practice. i'm sticking with the yoga class motto, though, which is something like: "I am not competing against anyone except my former self." In a way i am very proud of myself because a year ago i weighed 265 and there is no way that i would have been able to take this class. Now, i may be the heaviest person in the class, and i may be a bit slow, but i am totally kicking that girl's butt.